Synchronicity and Everyday Nirvana

The Synchronicity of Number 66

2011-10-25T11:26:00.004+05:30

My memory tells me two things about this synchronicity: that it began about 8-9 months ago, and that it was my second last visit to the cosmetic shop.

I should not have asked for the discount which her husband used to offer me sometimes. When she refused to give any, I asked her to check with her husband before disappointing a regular customer. She looked right into my eyes and asked when was the last time I bought stuff from her husband. Never ask for a discount, all you might get is a shock! She updated me about an event that had happened three months before my visit. The shopkeeper had died due to brain hemorrhage 3 months ago! She acknowledged my shock, I appreciated her acceptance of her husband's demise.

That conversation should have ended after this exchange, but it went on for a few more minutes. This happens to people who poke their paranormal noses into universe's business. I was ready to leave when she asked if I knew what the number 66 signified. Why did she ask me? This was the first time I had met her, and neither her nor her husband knew anything about my mystical interests.

She told me the number 66 had become an uninvited visitor around the time and immediately after her husband's death. She was seeing number 66 everywhere: in the hospital and even on the road to Haridwar ... I advised her to consult an numerologist if she was so eager to understand the mystery behind this number and its occurrence in her life at such a difficult time.

I didn't bother about this number until I started noticing it, too. Not only on registration plates, but I found this printed on some T-shirts and Jeans my younger nephew wanted to buy. I even stopped him from buying that stuff twice. But then last week he brought a T-shirt with the number 66 on its pocket and even told his mom about my resistance (fear is the word!) to this number. What you resists persists!

Without worrying about it too much, I just told myself that it was my fear, my Rahu, playing games and I just needed to believe in God (Krishna). Then something, which I would call mystical for now—until my understanding improves—happened. On the Saturday night, when I finished reading the chapter 12 of the Geeta, I opened the Geoffrey Parrinder’s translation of the Geeta and a page opened randomly. (I have two copies of the Bhagvat Geeta) On that page I found my answer to the number 66. This is what Krishna showed me:

XVIII.66:    “Come to me alone for refuge,
                   abandoning all things of law,
                   and have no fear, from every ill
                    I shall release you even more.”

I felt so light after this synchronicity. My fear evaporated.

Krishna gave me another assurance the very next day. I was windowshopping in Connaught Place when at a bookstand I noticed Robert E. Svoboda’s “Aghora – III: The Law of Karma”. How could I resist such a title especially when I have already read this author's "At the Left Hand of the God". I brought it home with me, and started reading this book later that night. On page 35, the author says: “He advises Arjuna to waive his attachment to all potential results of every karma and to focus on Him only: “Abondon all other duties, and come to me alone for refuge. Be not sorrowful, for I shall give you liberation from all sins. (Bhagvad Gita XVIII.66)””

A week before these two events took place, an ex-colleague visited me in the office. We were meeting after a gap of 12 years. Although we exchanged our phone numbers about 2 years ago when we had bumped into each other in the Raddisson lobby in Noida, for some reason, we could never meet before October, 2011. When my ex-colleague learned about my spiritual inclinations, he told me about his own. He spoke about the Geeta and how it changed his life. On hearing this, I told him how I started reading the 12th chapter of the the Geeta every night, only a few days before, when K.N. Rao, the great astrologer, advised me to do so, and how my divine connection with Lord Krishna was reviving after a suffering of three years. All he said to me was that he loved the last verse of the Geeta in which Krishna asks Arjuna to let go of everything and just come to Him; just love Him. What he didn't tell was that he was talking about the 66th verse in the chapter 18 of the Geeta. This occurred to me only only a couple of days ago when I was narrating this series of incidents to a friend. The verse 66 is the climax of the Geeta, as this colleague said. Since this was not enough for me to decipher the synchronicity of the number 66 and its purpose, the universe plotted the other two incidents.

Krishna is my personal diety, so to say, although I felt disconnected from Him in the last few years. The first time I read the Geeta, it was the year 2002. During this long period of nine years, I took a stab at learning astrology, tarot, past life regression, pranic healing, quantum healing, crystal healing, and so forth. Before whispering in my soul's proverbial ears the meaning and relevance of the verse 66, Krishna wanted me to experience everything and every system that appealed to my mind. Because until the monkey mind has quenched its thirst, it doesn't let us move forward.

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare

Hare Ram Hare Ram Ram Ram Hare Hare

Twin Flame Via Ketu (South Node)

2011-06-22T17:04:00.013+05:30

On June 19, my Mercury sub-period (antardasha)--which was running in the main period (mahadasha) of Rahu (North Node)--got over. On June 20^th started the antardasha of Ketu (South Node), which occupied its natal position in my horoscope a few days ago. This is Ketu’s third return (in the transit) in my life. It might mean many things, and I’ll refrain from delving deeper into it. While Ketu’s sub-period will influence my life till July first week next year, in the astro transit, it’s going to stay in Taurus, my ascendant, for 1.5 years. It seems like a crucial time because Ketu’s return in transit and its antardasha have coincided. Ketu’s return is also Rahu’s return because they are always 180-degree from each other. Interestingly, Jupiter is also passing its natal position in my horoscope.

Ketu’s hands are full. But it won’t show me what it has got in its shadowy hands. It’s a very secretive planet. So many events might be sprouting under its shadow at this time.

Ketu has not come empty-handed. It seems to be giving back what Mercury (shockingly!) took away: my interest in occult, synchronicities, crystals.

Crystals. They are calling me these days. Desh is motivating me to open a crystal shop. Talking about crystals, on the arrival day of Ketu, I found myself reading Judy Hall’s article “The Magic of Crystals” in which she mentions that a crystal which has equal sized crystals side by side on a common base can assist you in finding your twinflame:

“… If you can find a crystal that has two equal sized

crystals side by side on a common base place this here too. Many Candle

Quartzes can be found in twin formations that spring from a joint base and

they are excellent for this purpose as they symbolise mutual support and

loving interdependence. It will attract a twinflame into your life: a twinflame

being a soulmate without the karma and without the hassle. Something we

all need in our life!”

The same evening I was supposed to return Desh’s Rose Quartz and Amethyst samples, so I made up my mind to look for a twinflame crystal after returning his samples. I decided to search for it in his new showroom where he keeps crystal clusters and huge rocks. It didn’t take me more than three minutes to find what I was looking for. There was just one piece and it was in Clear Quartz. It was waiting for me! I picked it up along with an Amethyst cluster, which was pulling me toward it.

Feeling smug I went back to Desh’s den and asked the price of both items. He looked a bit surprised when he saw the twinflame thing in my hand. He said, looking amused rather than surprised, “ah, twinflame! Keep it. It’s for you.” Maybe he didn’t know he had a twinflame Clear Quartz, or perhaps, he didn’t expect that I would want one, or be able to find it in the sea of clusters. Anyway, I got what my soul looked for!

Here is a pencil sketch of twinflame:

https://picasaweb.google.com/prommila/Crystals#5621010383891129954

An image of a twinflame Amethyst is here:

https://picasaweb.google.com/prommila/Crystals#5621010380717494466

Here is a picture of MY twinflame in Clear Quartz:

https://picasaweb.google.com/prommila/Crystals#5621010513928689074

Synchronicity about "Synchronicity"

2011-06-22T14:15:00.001+05:30

I wonder why I never wrote about it on my blog ... this synchronicity is quite special to me. It happened mid last year, a couple of months after I wrote “A 360-Degree Look At The New Age Secret”. Its seed was sown around the same time when I was writing A 360-Degree ... article, and the synchronicity flowered two months after my manager’s visit to India.

When she confirmed that she would be visiting India, I asked my manager to bring C.G. Jung’s book “Synchronicity” for me, as I didn’t want to pay heavy shipping,--which I would have to if I ordered the book online. (The horizontal masthead on this blog is from the cover of “Synchronicity”. I found it online many years ago and altered it a bit.)

At the time of writing “A 360-Degree Look At The New Age Secret”, I struggled between choosing the right term to describe the phenomenon that gives us power--and works its magic--to fulfill our desires. Between “passion” and “intensity”, I settled for “intensity” because it resonated more with me. I wrote “A 360-Degree Look At The New Age Secret” sometime in January last year and kept in a proverbial closet because I wanted to be sure if I deeply believed in what I said in the article.

My manager visited India sometime in the second week of March. With her arrived “Synchronicity”. I put it on the piles of unread books. On my trip to B’lore June last year, I carried “Synchronicity” with me and resolved to finish it before I returned home. (I’m in a habit of buying books and never reading them. Many times they end up as collector’s items in my bookracks.)

My synchronistic moment waited on the 32nd page of “Synchronicity”:

“As regards the role which affects play in the occurrence of synchronistic events, I should perhaps mention that this by no means a new idea but was already known to Avicenna and Albertus Magnus. On the subject of magic, Albertus Magnus writes:

I discovered an instructive account [of magic] in Avicenna’s Liber sextus naturalium, which says that that a certain power to alter things indwells in the human soul and subordinates the other things to her, particularly when she is swept into a great excess of love or hate or the like. When therefore the soul of a man falls into a great excess of any passion, it can be proved by experiment that it [the excess] binds things [magically] and alters them in the way it wants, and for a long time I didn’t believe it, but after I read the nigromatic books and others of the kind on signs and magic, I found that the emotionality of the human soul is the chief cause of all these things, whether because, on account of her great emotion, she alters her bodily substance and the other things towards which she strives, or because on account of her dignity, the other, lower things are subject to her, or because the appropriate hour or astrological situation or another power coincides with so inordinate an emotion, and we [in consequence] believe that what this power does is then done by the soul. … Whoever would learn the secret of doing and undoing these things must know that everyone can influence everything magically if he falls into a great excess … and he must do it at that hour when the excess befalls him, and operate with the thing things which the soul prescribes. For the soul is then so desirous of the matter she would accomplish that of her own accord she seizes on the more significant and better astrological hour which also rules over the things suited to that matter … Thus it is soul who desires a thing more intensely, who makes things more effective and more like what comes forth….Such is the manner of production with everything the soul intensely desires. Everything she does with that aim in view possesses motive power and efficacy for what the soul desires.”

In the post “Affirmations beget Synchronicity!”, which I wrote five years ago from now, I linked the whole gamut of positive thinking/secret/affirmations to karmas as well. This is because of my belief in karma theory and my knowledge about astrology and how it influences our attitude and destiny.

The text I have quoted above from “Synchronicity” reminded me that my understanding has been in accord with that of many others who spent their lives finding answers to the mystery called life.

Matrix of Stories

2010-05-13T21:08:00.001+05:30

Spiritual journeys begin in the womb of the universe, the cosmic egg; hiryanagrabha. Biological journeys are rooted in mother’s womb; connecting us through the umbilical chord with the physical world. These journeys fuse together at an undefined point, and at this point begin our life’s stories. Our stories are a small part of the matrix in which we grow. Our stories are connected with the stories of others. These connections span across centuries, cultures, countries, and worlds.

The seed of all stories is our search for Self and the search for meaning, and with the seed is born the impetus to breathe life in our stories. What causes the stories to flower as myths and scriptures of our lives are these twins – seed and impetus.

The matrix of our life stories is formless. It’s hard to tell whether you’re the writer of your stories, or you, yourself, are being written ... There is always a point when the story starts writing itself; it makes you its protagonist. In its urge to reach a finishing point, the story commands you to think, feel, and act in bizarre ways.

While the story is writing you, you start dabbling with another story, and yet another story, and in the course of multiple inceptions, you’re written and edited many times. The beauty of this matrix is every time you end up where you started—but as a different person; with new and yet familiar pain points; colored with different shades of transient pleasures; hungry for lasting joys. Another intriguing truth is the resemblance between all stories; their underlying cause is one and single! And it’s this mesmerizing truth that binds all parallel stories in our life with a common thread. This thread also crosses boundaries, and ties knots with other threads of other lives. This thread binds us with events, places, and people.

From the matrix of endlessly hooked up stories, I’ve picked up a story, which is still in the making, and which is making me. It began in a summer decades ago, on a cloudy day, when my heart had just begun to understand its search. The search started over a melancholic walk in the emerald green surroundings; surroundings canopied with gray clouds; clouds pregnant with rain; rain that put off its plan to drench the ground; the smell of wet ground that was nipped in my mind; a mind that was ready to conceive.

I'll stop here. My story is calling me.

From Paranormal to Divine

2010-04-07T00:05:00.005+05:30

That was the summer of 2002. The month was May. Dates are lost somewhere in the maze of faded memories... The place was Mussoorie; a city enveloped in hills. Mussoorie is a holiday home to some Bollywood stars. It’s permanent residence of Ruskin Bond, too. Almost 8 years ago, Lipica and I planned a short trip to Mussoorie with Lipica’s friend Sugantha who lived there.

I’ve thought of writing about it many times before, but never got around to doing it for some reason. I don’t know why I’m writing about it tonight when I’m neither awake, nor asleep.

On the non-airconditioned bus to Mussoorie, which had the effect of sauna bath on its travelers, Lipica and Sugantha were sharing a seat. I was on the other side; drinking through my ears the cocktail of Sugantha’s half-true life stories and the noise that was emitting through the loosely-fitted window glass. We did not talk much on the way. The separateness of our seats punctuated the lack of common vibes between Sugandtha and me. This, however, didn’t stop me from overhearing their conversation about Sugandtha’s bua ji, who was a devotee of Krishna since her teen years--she was 76 in 2002. What I heard was that Buaji had taken an oath to remain silent all her life, and that she had a younger sister who was a divine being that left this world when she was 20 or so. The younger sister’s body dematerialized in a broad daylight and a streak of light left her body through her crown charka. Many people saw it. Before leaving her worldly form, the younger divine being guided her sister (buaji) to traverse the path that led to Krishna. I doubted Sugandtha’s words. In a quiet but acerbic tone I told myself this couldn’t be completely true. I told myself that Sugantha was on a spiritual trip to heighten her ego.

We reached the main gate of her Buaji’s old British home around 8 p.m. I stepped out of the white Maruti van first; the two friends were a step behind. We picked up our bags and began to climb down the stairs that led to the open space and veranda. While climbing down the stairs, I saw a person of short stature who was dressed in a cream robe. This being was walking in the same direction as the three of us. This person’s creamy-white wavy hair was falling on her shoulders. I could not see her (or his?) face, but she seemed to be heading toward the passage or the room on the left hand side. I can relive that moment right now without any emotions, but my mind released an unknown yet familiar feeling of fear through my body in the moment when I saw her the first time. I had clenched my fists. I couldn’t look toward her again. Not even with my eyes half closed. After a few moments, but before I reached the veranda, it occurred to me that this person could be Buaji. But why had her presence and calm appearance scared me out of my wits?

I didn’t ask Sugantha about her Buaji at all. I was avoiding any conversation about her. I think it was the fear of facing her Buaji. After an hour of our arrival, a short lady with an exceptionally radiant face entered the front room. I heard the footsteps before I saw her. The fear made another attempt to cause similar reaction as it had an hour ago. But I leashed it with awareness this time. I bravely looked in the direction of her footsteps. She was wearing a white salwaar kamiz. Her head was covered with a white dupatta. The radiance on her face blended well with the whiteness of her attire. I asked Sugantha who the lady was. To my surprise, she said, “Buaji”. I asked her who was the person we saw walking outside, if that wasn’t Buaji. Sugantha and Lipica said they didn’t see anyone while entering the house or climbing down the stairs. I was shocked! How could they miss someone so distinct? Sugantha said that no one else lived in that house except Buaji, Chaukidaar and his wife (they were young and normal looking). Moreover, there was no other house in that vicinity. So no one would have visited this house anyway. She asked Buaji about the mysterious lady that I had seen. Buaji gesticulated to tell us no one else lived there. When I explained to her that the lady's hair was similar to that of Krishna's-- (waves, texture, not the color), she laughed and made some gestures again to rule out the possibility of anyone visiting her home. That was a scary night in that lonesome house. Even existence of a good soul--devotee of Krishna—couldn’t salvage my fear-stricken heart.

Sugantha invited us to the other room in which Sugantha’s younger Buaji's (the divine being) photograph was kept. She started telling us about her younger Buaji. The younger one was a 12-year kid when that photo was taken. Her attire was nothing but a white piece of cloth that she had wrapped around her whole self. The moment I noticed her black, thick, wavy hair in the photograph, I began to wonder if that person outside was no one else but the younger sister; the divine being. It was not hard to imagine that if the young girl in the picture grew old, she would look exactly like the person I had seen walking at a five feet’s distance… But her body had dematerialized and her soul had left the world when she was 20. How could that person be the younger Buaji? And if she so much liked to live in that form and in that house, why would she leave in the first place?

Next morning, Sugantha whispered in our ears that Buaji was inquiring about the lady I had seen a night before. Buaji asked chuakidar and his wife if they saw someone, to which they said “NO.” It was then I recalled that chaukidar’s wife was washing dishes when the person in the cream robe was passing by. How could she miss a person of such a distinct appearance and mysterious aura?

It took me a night of full of fears and doubts to conclude that who I saw—that no one else could see--was perhaps a spirit; a divine spirit. Another thought that this person was no one else but Krishna himself began to sprout in my mind…

This mysterious incident remained with me for a couple of years. I was desperate to find answers/the truth. But the truth didn’t even lurk behind the shadows of doubts… I have stopped looking for answers now. Truth reveals itself, when the time is right.

Or, perhaps, this curiosity is still alive in some corner of my heart, but I don’t water it with attention anymore…Not thinking about this paranormal experience doesn’t lessen its significance though. No matter what I say, the truth is, this episode marked the beginning of my unintended spiritual journey—in this life.

The Crow Synchronicity

2010-04-03T10:50:00.001+05:30

Some things appear random in the scheme of life, but they’re as much a part of Invisible Plan as others that are seemingly planned. I don’t know why I brought up the topic of crows and my ornithophobia (just with the dead birds. Especially black birds.) the other day with M and S. I asked M if she noticed that ravens flight the B’lore sky just as crows flock the sky in Delhi/NCR. On hearing my statement, S said she had not seen a crow in Noida for quite some time. I said I would show her one someday outside the office. With this, the conversation died its natural death.

Last Sunday, after I came back from my weekly meditation class, my mom’s nurse shocked me when said she had to pick up a dead crow that papa saw in our porch and throw it in the trash. This is the first time a bird died in this house. We've been living here for 22 years now. The area of porch where she found the dead crow is fully covered. My father said the two notorious cats must have brought the crow and left it there. I thanked God for not letting me see the crow. I would have been paralyzed with my known indescribable fear, anxiety, if I had to see it. I would have clenched my fists and screamed. I would have ran... I can’t even see a dead crow from 100 ft. let alone seeing it at an arm’s length. This fear stems from a past life, I think. I just hope it’s not about the future.

This morning, a text message woke me up from my disturbed sleep. It was from S. The message was: “A crow in my balcony, first time in this house.”

The dead crow is an omen. Some say it’s a bad omen, and some cultures believe it to be a good omen. Is the alive crow that S saw in her balcony a sign about something, too?

A 360-Degree Look at the New Age Secret

2010-02-18T10:10:00.002+05:30

The world has found the Secret of fulfillment and with this Secret we have found the immutable laws of spiritual and material success. This Secret is packaged in different forms: affirmations, positive thinking, prayers, law of attraction, law of opposition, and so on. These are all different words for one and single phenomenon which tunes in our consciousness with the universe. Everybody experiences this phenomenon knowingly or unknowingly. In the spate of words floating around the universe, my consciousness--based on a careful observation of events in my life--has chosen another word for this phenomenon: “Intensity.”

In the last decade, I have observed this phenomenon carefully in my life and my perspective about this new age Secret is going through a change. With some observation I say that a true prayer has no template or format. What it does have is intensity, which has its root deep in our hearts. When this root is watered with strength and love, the intensity grows and touches the Superconscious where the divine lives. But all this happens in a moment; in a blink. I realize that igniting intensity is not a subject to be taught or learned; it’s a koan without an answer.

No matter whether we affirm specifically or not, or pray ritualistically or not, here are few things which we ought to heed, rather internalize, as seekers:

When we want something, most of us mediate on the fear that we won’t get it. In other words, we “affirm negatively”. Some might jitter and say we don’t affirm at all. All of us do! If I keep thinking in my mind “I won’t get it, good things don’t happen to me” and blah, then I am affirming negatively, rather I am NEGATING what might come my way. So that’s one reason why we don’t get what we want.
When conscious and subconscious minds are not aligned, then things tune out and don’t happen the way we expect. To put it in different words, it becomes immaterial whether I chant a mantra, a prayer, or an affirmation 108 times or 1000 times, if I can’t feel it deep inside my heart, I’m merely putting myself to sleep or falling in a temporary state of boredom.
Out of conscious and subconscious whichever is stronger, will win.
If affirmations and negations are equal, then the result is zero (simple math).
If we affirm for someone else’s loss, we don’t win. Nature is not unfair!
Once you start focusing on what you want, the universe shows you signs and symbols to help you move forward. Sometimes they come as whispers, and sometimes you hear loud cries... When the synchronicity begins, a few seemingly negative things happen and only those negativities lead you to what you have been craving for. This is not a rule however, but I have experienced it quite a few times in my life.

Along with many opportunities to validate what I’ve listed above has come to me the realization that there is no logical way to create something which is born only when certain variables in the universe are present at a certain time for us to make things happen. Some might argue that prayers and affirmations bring those variables to work desirably for us. Yes, absolutely! But this raises another question: why is that in some situations we can easily adapt the right approach to fulfillment, that is, the desired intensity to achieve our goal is ignited naturally. Whereas in some situations, no matter how much we try, we can’t rid ourselves of some patterns, beliefs, and negativities.

Therefore, undesirable state of mind either diminishes the intensity, which we require to attain our goal, or never lets us create the associated positive feeling. So what drives this driving force; this intensity? Can we ignite intensity in all our prayers and affirmations in a consistent manner? Why are some prayers backed with high intensity and others mere mechanical verbalizations of our pains and fears, devoid of intensity—like corpses? Or let’s ask ourselves can we artificially induce the needed intensity? Can we dissolve fearful or negative thoughts just by saying “I’m courageous and fearless.”? Will a fear, which has been dominating our subconscious mind for ages, dissolve if we chant a positive statement?

Affirming for something alone is not going to persuade God to serve it on a platter, but making the effort, thinking about it, searching in many directions, does make it happen some day. So it doesn’t happen because you or I affirm, but because of the intensity with which we want to make it happen. If we say, well it happened because we affirmed. No it’s not that simple. It happened because we believed intensely; we desired intensely.

In this big ocean of multiple realities and possibilities, there is another truth: our intensity to realize our dreams is as much a part of our destinies as the dreams themselves. The stuff we dream and desire is always in synch with the path that our souls choose to follow. Some dreams fulfill and some don’t. While fulfilled dreams bestow the sense of satisfaction first and later improve our understanding of “Neti, Neti”, the experiences that we go through on account of unfulfilled dreams stay with us longer. In both cases, we move closer to Completion--the ultimate goal of our souls. The path one takes is always in accord with not only the purpose of soul, but with the level of soul too. The Almighty doesn’t let us wander without a reason. There is a method to what appears to be madness.

prayer

2010-01-09T15:44:00.005+05:30

Not all prayers come true because not all prayers are prayers. They're mere verbalization of our pains or desires. A true prayer has no template or format. What it does have is "intensity", which has its root deep in our hearts. When this root is watered with strength and love, the intensity grows and touches the superconscious where the divine lives. But all this happens in a moment; in a blink. No science or art can teach you how to pray.

Epiphany through a red cushion and a cup of Swiss hot chocolate

2009-12-26T15:59:00.007+05:30

Posted from my Nokia E63

Sun light spills over the velvety cushion; (P)
Soon it will trascend all boundaries-- (V)
piercing proverbial walls that limit our hearts. (P)
Will the sun shine on me,
Or leave me under darkness, as always? (V)

The other day I was sitting comfortably on the cushioned floor in Mocha Cafe; sipping hot chocolate, while my thoughts were wandering elsewhere. Before they could wander beyond the point of return, a routine act of nature chased them out of the jungle of meaningless thoughts: Diagonally opposite the dark corner of my existence, the sun light pierced through the plain window glass and enveloped the red velvety cushion, which crowned the backrest of a chair. The cushion now looked golden red and i wondered if i could separate the red from the sun light... the realization dawned upon me that this cushion has never been the object as I perceive (optical illusion??) it. Many objects have gone through transformartion to create this one cushion. Many lives and my deaths. . . this object is a creation of Absolute Intelligence and it's for this Intelligence that the air, water, ether, fire, space, time, animate and inanimate beings united and made possible the "creation" of this cushion\object.

When the sun light falls on any object, the object changes. From being an object it transforms in to a carrier of light. And it does so by being receptive to the light. This object doesn't question the sun. It can't, because it knows that this light is a cause of the object's existence. This light has mothered all the forms that this object's molecules have taken so far. The form, the shape, the color, the feel-- every aspect of this object owes its existence to the Sun light, too, which falls on this object unconditionally and which this object absorbs, drinks, savors and finally becomes one with. And it doesn't matter--neither to the object, nor to light-- how long this moment lasts. Neither the object, nor the sun light intend to be aware of the beginning or end of this union. For them, time is an alien concept. For them, existence is also an alien concept. Although it's a union of energy and matter, the concepts of physical and material don't influence this union; however, their union does influence these concepts.

Stroke of Love, Pain, and Hope

2009-12-01T13:10:00.005+05:30

Dimples on my mother’s cheeks no longer exist. Her face is more or less expressionless. When she smiles, her upper lip shows some signs of movement on the right side and some teeth show to assure us that she is smiling. Her smiles are the savior of our hopes. With each smile my faith renews and I see signs of her recovery; her willingness to recover overpowers the weakness of her physical body. And every time I see her smiling, I say my non-ritualistic prayer to Krishna to heal her of all emotional and physical troubles and give us some good time together so that there is no guilt or hunger for love.

Never before in my life had I imagined that my mother’s existence could affect my peace and joy—my own existence. She couldn’t be the mother I wanted and I couldn’t be the daughter she needed. The scars and wounds in our relationship always made me believe that I was detached from her. Although I have always loved her, I thought my love for her was devoid of usual mother-daughter emotions. I see a drastic change in both of us. I’m a lot gentle with her and she expresses her love for me so often now—almost everyday. Her kisses on my forehead and my hands, her sweet words that she stammers sometimes, the warm look in her eyes make up for all the love that I missed during 34 years of my life. I now understand that she always loved me, but she failed at expressing it, or maybe it was me who was incapable of receiving it… Her paralytic attack has changed everything—from our routines to our hearts--everything!

I hope Krishna gives us some more years together. I hope she recovers fully and feels better than ever… I strongly feel her illness is a “stroke” of almighty to bring us together and make better our relationship--but at what cost? Nonetheless, I can’t stop wondering why has God designed us to learn only through difficulties, miseries, accidents, and illnesses?

Synchronicity About My Europe Trip

2009-08-16T16:15:00.006+05:30

Don’t the wisest of all keep saying beware what you ask for because you just might get it? Then why do we ask for things that we don’t want--in the form of negations that result from our fear of failure. The intensity of our fears overpowers the desire and will to make things happen.

More than a year ago, I told Amit that I would go to Europe alone. I didn’t say this out of pride, but with remorse. There was a context in which I said this. The context is worth the mention, but I don’t wish to wear my heart on my sleeves, so I’ll skip it. The emotions behind my statement were very intense and that intensity planted the seed of my lonely Europe trip. The seed was so powerful that my anxiety and fear of traveling alone almost lost their battle.

It was the month of March when a casual conversation about planning a trip to Europe led to a significant synchronicity. During this short but zealous conversation it was decided that Savita and I would go together. More than ever I was sure this time that I had to make it. I spoke to my relative in Switzerland about our plans and she happily agreed to send us invitations to support our visa applications. Around the same time I spoke to Deepa about this trip that I was planning to make in the month of May or June. Deepa asked me to get a copy of Lonely Planet’s Europe on a Shoe String. I was so full of energy that I decided to get the book on the same day. When Savita and I went downstairs for a walk I mentioned the Lonely Planet book to her. She said Om Bookstore could deliver it to us. Now I wanted the Om Bookstore’s number—then and there! We thought of checking with some people upstairs if anybody had this bookstore’s number. As soon as we reached our bay, a bill which was lying--rather rolled up with the telephone cord--on Ravinder’s workstation, caught my attention—I got what I wanted. It was an Om Bookstore’s bill for the book that Ravinder had bought a week ago or so. Why was it lying there for so many days? Why didn’t the housekeeping guys throw it away? Why didn’t Ravinder throw it away? Who cares? I called one of the numbers that were printed on the bill and ordered my copy of Europe…. I got the book within next 40 minutes!

No matter how much we try to ignore the inseparable companion of hope, it looks straight into our eyes and reminds us of its existence. If hope gives us company all along, fear doesn’t leave us either.

I started skimming through the book over the next weekend. Obviously, I was very excited about this trip. I didn’t want to lose this chance at all. But while I was flipping through the pages, I got this strange urge to do a self-reading (tarot) about my much awaited trip. When I pulled the cards and read them, I thought it was my fear speaking to me face-to-face. The cards clearly told me that I would have to do this trip alone. I felt bad, but then I coaxed myself into believing that the cards just reflected my state of mind, and not destiny. No matter what I believed at the conscious level, the truth is, it was my destiny to go alone. Savita backed out and the anxiety of being alone in foreign places returned. I dropped the idea. For next 5/6 weeks, the Lonely Planet’s book, which was lying on my bed side, teased me every day about how close I had come to realizing my dream once, and how far from it I stood now; so far that I didn’t see any possibility of returning to it…

There was more to it than met the eyes. The conscious decision about dropping the idea couldn’t destroy the seed that I had sowed more than a year ago. Some time in the first week of May I bared my soul to a friend that I had dropped my plans. While I was saying this to her, my urge to make this trip happen returned. The next day, I filled up the visa form, collected supporting documents, took the visa appointment, and finally made it happen.

One of my unshakeable beliefs is that the desire and intensity to realize our dreams is as much a part of our destinies as the dreams themselves. The stuff we dream and desire is always in synch with the path that our souls choose to follow. Some dreams fulfill and some don’t. While fulfilled dreams bestow the sense of satisfaction first and later improve our understanding of “Neti, Neti”, the experiences that we go through on account of unfulfilled dreams stay with us longer. In both cases, we move closer to Completion--the ultimate goal of our souls.

My Lonely Europe Trip

2009-07-26T13:41:00.005+05:30

Until it really happened, it was a dream. At some point it seemed as if it would remain a dream; a desire would nip in the bud. Fear is always louder than hope. Isn’t it?

There is one thing that never leaves me: the awareness of being alone. This trip was another rendezvous with loneliness. The feeling of being alone hit me hard sometimes. In my life, the moments of pleasure come smeared with hurt. That’s what the nodes do when they eclipse the ascendant and descendent in the horoscope of one’s life.

Now little about my Lonely Europe trip.

Zurich in 20 Francs: On 11 June 2009, I reached Zurich with 20 Swiss Francs in the inner most pocket of my sling bag. Goes without saying, I carried my credit and debit cards too. The sprawling airport confused me more than I had imagined. The orderliness of the huge airport created chaos in my mind. I couldn’t figure out where my cousin had asked me to wait for her. I kept running between Arrival 1 and 2 anxiously. I didn’t know how to use the pay phones installed in the arrival 1 lounge. The café guy told me I could use any denomination as long as it was more than a franc. Without thinking I dropped a 5-franc coin in the socket ass-u-ming that the intelligent machine would return the balance after I hung up.

My cousin gave me a hearty laugh when she heard about my stupidity.

On the first day, I went for a walk in the Wettingen village. The serenity of the place was worth contrasting with the inescapable clamor of my city. I still remember how I wanted some people to be with me and feel the way I was feeling in those beautiful surroundings. Later in the evening I went to Zurich with a relative of my cousin--Zurich looked beautiful at night, but not out of the world.

On the 2nd day, I booked tickets for Prague and Vienna. The fear and anxiety of traveling alone were eating me inside. I boarded the train to Prague at 10.30 p.m. at Zurich HB. My cousin’s sense of humor turned out to be a good placebo and I felt lighter. Her husband told me how to lock the train cabin in which I cocooned all alone for next 15 hours. In the next cabin were 4 or 5 junkies. It became a ritual for them to peep into my cabin every time someone from their group went to the loo.

“Praha, Praha, Praha” – the junkies shouted at the Prague railway station. I had arrived! Within 10 min of walk I could figure out that very few people spoke English. The second thing I noticed when I stepped in the city center was Oracle’s tall building! The first thing was, obviously, the architecture of Prague. There is something paranormal about Prague but I cannot pin point it. Perhaps the amazing architecture made me feel that way about the city.

The city looks sensuous at night.

During my two days stay in Prague I kept feeling as if I was living in two different worlds at the same time. One world was many hundred years ago and the other one was yet to happen. My cousin’s relative’s friends kept me company in those two days. Sense of being alone and unsafe returned the second evening when they left me. I tried to sleep early that evening but I was awake till next morning.

Prague is the city where I traveled in trams for the first time in my life.

Vienna on Sore Feet: On the train from Prague to Vienna I kept praying if I could meet someone to tag along with in Vienna. But at the same time I was preparing myself to stroll around the city alone. My prayers worked. I bumped into three Indians from whom I learned a lot about Vienna. They happily included me in their group for next few hours.

Vienna has good museums. I specially liked the Leopold museum. I would like to go back to Vienna to sip coffee and drink beer in its road side cafes. These cafes adorn the old brick roads that I saw so much of in Prague and in some other European cities too. Vienna’s parliament house has enchanting Greek architecture. Everyone should see it once. The overnight train journey from Vienna to Zurich was quite comfortable. European trains are very comfortable and clean too. I slept well until my mobile phone rang. On the other side, my cousin asked me where I was. She was waiting for me on the railway station. I asked others in the cabin if I missed my station. (By the way, one never misses their station in international trains in Europe. The ticket checker keeps your passport and ticket when you board a train and he assures you to wake you up next morning 30 minutes before your station arrives.) A Swiss national who was traveling in the same cabin as mine and who also spoke English told me that the train was 2.5 hours late due to some renovation work. She was a nice human being as I learned later. When we got down at Zurich main station, she took me to the information center and collected a few maps and brochures. She marked the cities I should visit while I was in Switzerland. She spent around 30 minutes explaining how I should my trip. She told me she would SMS some more information to me after talking to her husband who knew about Swiss more than she did. She kept her words and sms’ed me info about two budget tours that I could do in Switzerland.

Heaven on Wheels (Glacier Express): I returned to Switzerland with sore feet. Rested a bit in Wettingen and went for shopping with my cousin in Baden. If my memory serves me right, I think I stayed in Switzerland for next couple of days and then went to Amsterdam, Holland. Before going to Amsterdam, I went to Zermat on Glacier Express. The route that I took was Churr to Zermat. (This is so far the most beautiful toursity trip in my life!) In my next trip to Switzerland, I plan to do the complete route (St. Morris to Zermat) and stay in Zermat for a day.
Amsterdam, on a Cloudy Day: This city turned out to be colder than I had imagined. I wasn’t carrying my jacket with me because I didn’t use it in Prague and Vienna. Thankfully I had my new sweater that I had bought in Baden, but my jacket would have been better. I bought the one-day tram pass and a map, which I never read. I didn’t use my copy of Europe on a Shoe String, either. After checking in a small room in the Kap hotel, I went around the city center on foot. I preferred walking and boarded trams only when I was very tired. Near the zoo an African guy started following me. He was whistling too. To date I don’t know what he wanted really. He was whispering in Dutch and I couldn’t fathom his monologues at all. I was scared and walked as fast as I could. Soon I reached a relatively crowded road and he went back. This incident scared me so much that I went back to my hotel and locked myself in the room for 2 hours. I went back to the city center around 5 pm and stayed there till 8. I spent these three hours in the Van Gough museum. A nice guy gave me a 15-minute ride on his bicycle and dropped me to the museum. He offered the ride because he didn’t have anything else to do. Lovely people!

The dark colors of Van’s paintings turned my thoughts toward the fact how lonely I felt. Before leaving the museum I sipped a cup of hot chocolate and ate an apple pie and then walked back to the hotel. I didn’t sleep well that night but felt healthy and fresh next morning. I checked out after the breakfast and went in the direction of Annie Frank’s house. After reaching there I changed my mind and didn’t join the queue of people who wanted to see where and how Annie Frank lived. I’m a very self-centered person. I don’t care how others live…J Across the road was a nice café where I had a cup of coffee. After some time, I boarded a city tour bus and got down near the Heineken museum where I bumped into a Singaporean woman who was traveling alone. I joined her and we went to see the Heineken museum. I really enjoyed the tour to this museum and drank beer too. After the museum we went to the botanical garden which was not all that great. She asked me if I would like to see the Red Light district. I told her I was scared... So here we said good bye and I boarded the tram that was going to the Central Station. In the tram a woman asked me where I was from and stuff like that. She felt bad when she learned that I was going to the station 3 hours early. She said she would really like to show me around some places that I might like but unfortunately her train would leave for her destination in next 20 minutes. I thanked her for her offer. She seemed to mean what she was saying. I had short conversations with many Dutch people during these two days and formed a positive opinion about them.

For some reason the Amsterdam railway station was colder than the city center. My sweater was not warm enough and due to cold I had to pee three times in three hours. (I had to pay 50 cents (Rs. 35) every time I peed) While I was eating fries in Burger King I started worrying over who I would have to share the cabin in the train. My mind started playing wicked games again. I mentally asked God to take care of the situation and send some people who I could talk to—as if he was waiting to execute my orders.

I went to the platform on which I was supposed to board my train. I saw two Indian-looking people. I asked them if they were Indians. The girl said they were Canadians and the boy said their parents were Indians. After 45 minutes or so I asked them about their bogie and berth numbers. We all jumped in surprise when we learned we were not only in the same bogie but in the same cabin too! What a synchronicity! They took a picture of our tickets for their album.

I should have asked God for something else that evening, he would not have refused.

N-E-W-S in Switzerland: I spent next 9 days in Switzerland and saw some very beautiful places. I visited Luzern, Lugano, Thun, Spiez, Geneva, Bern, Interlaken (east), Jungfrau, Fribourg, and Reign falls. While traveling around the Swiss cities I bumped into three Americans twice. I enjoyed talking to them in complete English sentences. On the train to Geneva an old lady who was sitting opposite me offered me a portion of the berries that she had got for her daughter who she was going to meet soon. Small humanly gestures mean a lot to me! When I fell asleep on the train she gently woke me up to show me beautiful scenic places from the train window. She told me a bit about her daughters, too.

I had an interesting experience in Lugano. In the Swiss Miniature museum I asked a guy how to reach the nearest railway station and to my surprise he responded in pure Hindi. He looked like a Swiss/local (not an Indian-Swiss) and for once I wondered if I was hallucinating. He told me he had spent 5 years in Himachal and he still owned a house in the hills. His father was an Indian—must be his step father because the guy didn’t have Indian features, colors, or accent at all.

Switzerland is certainly the heaven on earth! The country’s transportation is perhaps the best in the world. Not just in terms of connectivity but convenience and comfort too.

(Hi)England: I felt at home in England where Asians are a majority. The much-maligned South Hall deserves every bit of the bad reputation it has earned. I didn’t see a single white person in this area. Most restaurants in South Hall don’t accept credit cards for obvious reasons. They give kachha bills to customers. From their billboards to bill books, everything is “Made in India”. Hounslow is another area where whites don’t like to go and so is Harrow. There are many other such areas in England... Pakistanis are a majority in Manchester someone told me.

The Thames river was a big let down after crystal clear bluish lakes of Switzerland. That said, the central London is a happening place. It has got pubs, theatres, museums and what not. Whether you are an arty type or a nondescript, London always has something to suit your senses. London Tube rocks but it cannot beat the rail transportation in Switzerland. Am I comparing apples with oranges?

In the Zen café near London Eye I met a north Indian who kindly offered to arrange a free London Eye flight for me. We Indians have Jugaars everywhere in the world, don’t we? I preferred paying 17 pounds for the most talked about flight. But the nice Indian fellow gave 50% discount on the eatables I bought and I happily accepted it.

Journey is more beautiful than the destination (Edinburgh): From London I went to Halifax to meet a friend. I stayed with my friend’s family for two days and on the second day we drove to Scotland. The drive to Edinburgh was far better than the city, which was just another European city. We saw some Scottish villages on our way back to Halifax and found them to be very scenic. We should have stayed in a village the night before instead of the B&B accommodation in Edinburgh. From Halifax I went back to London rather the Stanwell village where I was staying with our family friends. In the remaining two days I visited a Casino in central London and drove around the city in a convertible BMW (don’t remember the model).

On 8th July I boarded my flight to India and here I'm...back to havoc, misery and love.

Will this synchronicity happen?

2009-03-08T11:52:00.003+05:30

Scribbling my soul desire
on a 100-rupee note,
signing it with my love
on a south Bangalore road,
I gave the note away,
ancipitating it will come back to me
I still wait for this soul synchronicity.

11:11/ 911

2009-01-16T11:13:00.003+05:30

I have been seeing 11:11 and 911 for a few months now...444 is still on...Mr. God, could you be little more specific please and stop playing the number game?

:S

The Un-fated Freewill

2008-07-11T17:47:00.005+05:30

These quotes from Viveknanda and Ralph Waldo Emerson explain in a few words what all there is to be understood about the phenomenon of freewill:

“The will is not free - it is a phenomenon bound by cause and effect - but there is something behind the will which is free.” (VN)

“ Fate is nothing but the deeds committed in a prior state of existence.” (RWE)

The mystery of existence is the mother of the fate or freewill quandary. To understand the daughter, we must first understand the mother. But, for the sake of confusion (read clarity) let’s try to understand both simultaneously.

There are all types of people in this world: those who believe in fate and those who have chosen to be free of fate by choosing freewill. There is another set of people too, that has found a middle path. This group believes that the main events are the fated milestones in the journey of life, but how we reach each milestone is under our control. My belief swings between “only fate” to “both fate and freewill”. Certainly my belief is tilted toward the middle path.

Why Don’t We Have Freewill to Change the Physical Events?

I have started watching The Hero season 1 again. So the question why can’t we change our future (read physical events) in real life enjoys the hot seat on the top most layer of my conscious mind. This morning, just before reaching the office, the thought that this question itself is unfounded oiled my mind.

Consider this: the world is a stage and we are its actors. The scriptwriter and director is, of course, God. Therefore, we are just acting upon his script and following his directions. Sounds clichéd?

God doesn’t give each of us much leeway because we are egoistic beings. So let’s say if he gives me the leeway to change the physical events in my life, I’d inevitably change the permutation and combinations (energy and matter) such that my actions will disturb the plans of those connected with me directly or indirectly. As a corollary effect, the plans of others who are connected with those whose life I have affected will also be disturbed. Moreover, if I have the power and the leeway, others have it too, which means there will be a collision of power, freedom, energy, matter. This collision will not let the world function the way it is designed to function. Point to be internalized is, each and every thing and being is intricately entwined, and therefore change in one leads to change in the other.

God is perfect. He is absolute genius. He created a perfect situation: egoistic beings who want everything their way, but no freewill—not in the way (acausal) we would want to exploit it. He created angels and demons, he created night and day, he created deserts and oceans, and he created barren and fertile lands. His game plan is clear. He wants the opposites to first fight, then unites, and finally become absolute. The power and freedom to change the physical events acausally would have destroyed his world not long after he created it. So he laid out rules: cause and effect, action and result. Whether we realize it or not, the world despite all the violence and environmental imbalances, is in perfect balance. We have both murderers and healers…

( I’m not sure how acausal synchronicity is. Jung’s notion of synchronicity is that there is an acausal principle that links events that have a similar meaning, by their coincidence in time rather than sequentially. I’d rather remove “a” from acausal and call it the casual principle of sychronicity. The similarity of meanings between two or more events creates the cause for a sychronicity to happen. Doesn’t it?)

Why Is the Question of Freewill Unfounded?

Why do we need freewill? To change something in our lives isn’t? Why do we want to change things? Is it not because we are unhappy with their current state? Why don’t we like life as it is? Why do we not understand that things are the way they should be? This is because we have divided everything into good and bad, right and wrong, pain and happiness. If we strip our minds of these categorizations, there will no longer be any need to change things, and therefore, we will not want the freewill to change events. Elimination of categories and divisions will bring a divinely harmonious order into this world. Consequentially, the question of freewill won’t arise at all.

The Ghost and the Witch

2008-07-04T12:57:00.000+05:30

Warning: This title is misleading!

Throughout my teenage, a ghost that I could never see or touch haunted me. It was shapeless as real ghosts usually are. Did you know that they don’t have shadows either, contrary to the belief that they are bodiless shadows? It seemed that this ghost had silently chartered my spacious mind, but then it fled soon after I bumped into a witch, who eventually rid me of this ghost.

I want to share with you how the witch rid me of the ghost that occupied my mind for so long. Goes without saying, I’ll introduce you to both, the ghost and the witch.

The ghost was disorderliness of my thoughts; my inability to think in correct order that can simplify complex situations; to perceive various pieces of a situation that can be attended to in a certain order, one by one. The ghost was the condition of my mind that always complicated things. So I would name this ghost unstructured thinking! Why I think that unstructured thinking is a ghost, because I believe that ghosts are none other than the negativities or limitations of our own mind. We create ghosts and therefore only we have the power to destroy them. The witch is the line of my career that I chose accidentally, which changed my thinking model completely. The witch is technical writing. Needless to say, only a witch can restrain ghosts.

When I wrote my first document, the witch cajoled me to gaze into her crystal ball and review the big picture. Her crystal ball revealed a simple truth that my entire life is a document, and I have the freedom to design and create it the way I want.

“How are thoughts and thinking different?”- the witch asked. Thoughts, she said, are ideas that we acquire from others. “Like writers plagiarize content.”- she laughed. Those are thoughts, not thinking, she added. Thinking is when you question everything not for the sake of questioning, but for better understanding a situation or a challenge. You will question only when you try to go deeper into things and ideas. Blindly adopting ideas and beliefs is quite like copying and pasting content from someone else’s document. Whether in documentation lifecycle or in real life, adaptation of an idea or strategy without in-depth analysis adds little value.

The crystal ball drew a parallel between the tasks that I perform as a technical writer and situations in my real life. It showed me that researching into product, domain, and technology that I write about is quite similar to identifying the purpose of my life. It made me realize how all my life I kept postponing this task assuming that the purpose will be revealed on its own accord. Perhaps I thought it was not important enough, just as an inexperienced writer I didn’t realize how important is thorough research. My first reaction to the idea of research was that I would learn about the subject matter while writing the document through trial and error. However, the realization of its importance saved me from a documentation fiasco. Similarly, shunning the task of finding out the purpose of my existence could lead to an inconsequential life.

I was told to always keep in mind the audience, what it already knows, what it expects to learn from the document, and what it wishes to achieve through the documented instructions. The witch drew an analogy between audience analysis and self-observation. It coerced me to keep in mind my strong desires, natural talents, and inclinations to achieve what I want. The witch emphasized, “The “self” is the audience in real life.”

The witch then asked me to find similarities between documentation users and we the living. I was dumbfounded! I began to mumble; the ghost was playing tricks again. The witch then tapped my third eye between the eyebrows and wisdom began to flow. I knew it!
In the world of computer programs, users learn by doing, in the real world the law of karma teaches us the lessons of life.

Like users learn by thinking and reasoning, we learn by observing each thought that crosses our mind and each action that we perform in daily life.

Like users are prone to performing actions without thinking carefully, we jump to conclusions in life.

Like they avoid planning, we rarely think how we can fulfill our most cherished dreams.

Like users detest detailed instructions, we abhor self-analysis.

Like users subconsciously apply previous learning they acquired from similar tasks, we are conditioned to behave and act in ways defined by society and people that surround us.

Like users have difficulties comprehending and fixing errors they encounter, we have problems finding the root cause of most psychological problems.

Like users use error analysis and troubleshooting information to explore their knowledge, we look into our past to see how we dealt with similar situations.

Like there is a learning strategy for each problem that users encounter, there is learning in each situation that we face in real life.

Just when I was overwhelmed with what I saw in the crystal ball, the witch drew a parallel between the role of content outline and objectives in documentation and that of listing down dreams and creating affirmations in real life. The witch said, like creating a content outline helps you focus on the crucial topics and the order in which they should be developed, listing down your dreams keeps you focused. Like writing objectives for topics enables you to cover useful and appropriate content, creating affirmations empowers you to fulfill your dreams. The witch concluded this point by saying: “If content outline serves the purpose of documentation map, affirmations become the gateway to a fulfilling life.”

The witch explained, just as minimalism ensures only that information is delivered to users, which they need to achieve their goals—nothing less nothing more, the state of silence or meditation sweeps the clutter of the mind, and from that clean slate unfurls suppressed creativity. She then drew a comparison between using only positive phrases that is, using no negatives, in documentation and always thinking positive in real life. Never say there is a bug in particular functionality, but specify the alternative (a workaround) to achieve the expected results. Likewise, never think in life that you cannot do it! Focus on how you can do what you want to.

She asked me to recall how my first troubleshooting document had helped an agitated user resolve a serious problem. “Picture him struggling with that problem in absence of the troubleshooting document.” she said. She admonished me for not using my inner strength to find right and simple solutions to problems that bother me in routine life.

“You create risk mitigation plans for your documents. However, sometimes the risk mitigation plan fails due to unidentified risks. You complain about it, but you gear up to meet the new challenges, because you know that anything less than success won’t do. So you find ways to accomplish your goals. You mitigate risks in your personal life, too. Saving a certain percentage of your salary every month is one example. But when an unknown risk quakes your life, you rarely say to yourself, “I can handle this, or this is part of life, and this too shall pass if I remain patient and face it with courage and faith.” She drew another parallel. She rotated her crystal ball and this message flashed: “If challenging documentation work gives you mental stimulation, challenging situations in life help you internalize the truth that most people just talk about.”

Before dematerializing, the witch gave me a talisman that still scares the ghost that once ruled my mind. The talisman has this message: “You will achieve the purpose of your life when you have identified who you are and what you are here for. You will be a thinker in the true sense when you follow your inner guide that shows you the path best for you; prepares you to walk on that path, and bestows the ability to meet challenges that you will face on your journey toward a fulfilling life.”

The arrival of this witch in my life is not a coincidence, because it’s the universe’s conspiracy to defeat the ghost. It’s a significant synchronicity in my life.

Synchronicity of “The Lovers”

2008-06-12T10:29:00.003+05:30

Osho’s Zen Tarot and I enjoy an unspeakably beautiful connection. It has happened many times in the past that I could see in my mind’s eye the card I would pull after spreading the deck. So, today is one of those days when Osho zen tarot and I are telepathically connected.

This morning, when I opened www.osho.com to choose a card for the day, the first thing that I noticed was the image of “The Lovers” card (VI of major arcana) in the collage that has 6/7 card images. I instantly new I’d get this card. The principle of ask and you shall be given was really at work in that moment. I clicked the card for the day link under the all cards (major + minor aracanas) section, and to my surprise I got The Lovers card.
Such incidents leave me wondering whether it’s the power of my mind that makes things happen, or it’s really the case that I can see them before they happen.

Love Synchronicity

2008-05-14T14:38:00.001+05:30

If my memory serves me right, then I think it was in late 90’s when I took the pledge to save water. This was when a friend’s father who is a follower of Brahm Kumari’s showed me a form with three pledges to choose from. Since then I have been very sensitive toward the issue of saving water. I don’t know if this sensitivity is a result of that pledge or I’m supposed to be this way. I pick up fight with my mom on this issue at least once every week. She keeps the water tap open even when the vessel is overflowing….

This morning I got an e-mail about Sigmund Freud’s test on our priorities in life. Here is the test. Surprisingly, in this test also I chose to stop the overflowing water first.

“Five things are happening in your house at the same time. In which sequence would you solve them?

1. The telephone is ringing!
2. The baby is crying!
3. Someone's knocking or calling you from the front door!
4. You hung the clothes out to dry and it is beginning to rain!
5. You left the tap on in the kitchen and the water is already overflowing!

[ You should see the following list only after choosing the sequence of points mentioned above.]

On the list you can see which meaning every point has:

Telephone represents Work
2. Baby represents Family
3. Door represents Friends
4. Clothes represent Money
5. Tap represents Love Life

Your chosen sequence determines the priorities in your life.”

The meaning of my name—someone told in early 2000’s—is “full of love”. But the irony of my life is I have not yet found it--neither within nor without. Is it because Love is the purpose of my life, and I can only achieve it toward the end?

Celebrating 2 Years of the 444 Synchronicity

2008-05-14T14:37:00.000+05:30

The 444 synchronicity is still on. The link to my blog posts on TWIN has 444 too: http://www.twin-india.org/index.php?q=blog/444

Synchronicities are nature's play

2008-02-27T22:12:00.002+05:30

While reading Osho’s commentaries on Patajali Sutras, I learned about some major synchronicities that Osho had unearthed and discussed in this book. Osho said it was a synchronicity that both Darwin and his childhood friend Russell were working on the same theory without knowing about it. Since they were living separately in far off geographical locations and they were not in touch, none of them knew that they were working on the same thing. But when lazy Darwin received Russell’s letter one day and learned that Russell too was working on something miraculously similar, he pulled up his sox and went about publicizing his theory. Three months later the world knew that Russell too had worked on the same thing. Russell however agreed that Darwin should get the credit, because Darwin perceived it before Russell did—it was just that Darwin was lazy and didn’t accumulate his findings regularly.

Osho also discussed in a couple of lines the synchronicity that he found in Einstein’s statement that if he (Einstein) had not worked on the relatively theory, then someone else would have formulated it in a year’s time. The message that both Osho and Einstein tried to communicate is that the consciousness of the universe is one. Therefore, an idea that can change people’s life comes simultaneously to several minds. However, only a few make the best of out of it.

In fact, it’s also a synchronicity that while Einstein was working on his theory Carl Jung was trying to make the world understand his concepts of archetypes and collective unconscious. While Freud opposed Jung, Einstein supported Carl.

Osho found a beautiful synchronicity, that is, when Patanjali designed the science of yoga, somewhere in China acupuncture points were being discovered. In the same era when Patanjali was born, Heraclites, the Greek thinker was also conceived.

***

This morning, while coming to the office an interesting thought sparked my confused mind. Here it is:

I strongly agree to J.Krishnamurti’s school of thought and Krishna is my favorite God form. J.Krishnamurti has Krishna in his name. Basically Krishnamurti means Krishna’s idol (rather avatar/incarnation).

In the same moment, a car overtook my cab. The car had the following slogan on the rear windshield.

Chant
HARE KRISHNA
…and be happy.

Unbelievably, the daily OMs that I receive daily have been synchronous with my life since the time I subscribed to www.dailyom.com. It is indeed incredible that each daily OM that I receive answers or solves a current problem in my life. Therefore, I have decided not to write about daily OM synchronicities on my blog, or I’ll end up pasting Daily OMs here.

A synchronous conspiracy of the universe

2008-01-24T14:58:00.000+05:30

"The greatest human quest is to know what one must do in order to become a human being." ~ Immanuel Kant

"Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness." ~ Seneca

I received these quotes when the dominance of my incessant desire to become human is paramount. The universe plays thorny games. It first throws a challenge that I can’t deal with, and then it overwhelms me with the awareness. The dice is generally thrown by the time I regain my lost awareness.

If thoughts were things, I would destroy them.
If words were pollution, I would avoid them.
If actions were terrorists, I would kill them.

Ah, it still shows the suffocating violence in me!

Synchronicities: The roadmap to our destiny

2007-12-21T16:17:00.000+05:30

Synchronicities are the roadmap to our destiny that we have no choice but to embrace and to which we ought to surrender. Those who can read the roadmap that synchronicities are, reach their destinations without having to experience the bumpiness in their ride. Those can’t, remain lost in foreign lands.

In the circle of life
We don’t move ahead
We come back
To where we started
We go forward
To where we left

Nir Vana

2007-12-04T17:02:00.000+05:30

From the center
Of the dissolved illusion
The serpent rises
Shedding its coiled lust
Pierces the headless demon
Kisses the lotus—
Freshly unfurled thousand petals

Synchronous Incidents and a Synchronicity

2007-12-04T14:19:00.000+05:30

On November 26, an earthquake of 4.3 magnitude woke up Bahadurgarh, Delhi, Faridabad, Noida at 4.43 a.m. Since its epicenter for in Bahadurgarh (around 29 k.m. from Delhi), it seemed very powerful. Some people heard airplanes flying under the ground. :)

When I found my bed swinging and an invisible entity banging the main gate, I was sure that it was an earthquake. I got hold of my mobile to send notifications to some earth lovers and saw the time: it was 4.44 a.m. Synchronicity?

Last Sunday, I was talking to a friend about the person who wrote the script of Dil, Dosti, etc., and an advertisement about the DVD of this film flashed on the TV screen right in that moment. My friend said that it was synchronicity and that I should continue talking to the scriptwriter.

Yesterday, when Savita took my pen drive to give me a copy Butterfly Effect, I was publishing Diana’s comment on my blog. After publishing her comment, I clicked Diana’s link and saw that Butterfly Effect is one of her favorite films.

After a few minutes, I opened http://www.imdb.com/ to check other films that Diana has mentioned in her favorite movies; I saw a picture of The Weeping Camel on the home page of this site. Someone has strongly recommended this documentary. Hopefully, Deez has already brought its copy.

A friend asked me last night if all synchronicities are meaningful. My answer was Yes. We discussed those incidents from his life that he thought were meaningless synchronicities. The conclusion that we drew from our conversation was that all synchronicities are meaningful; some being the early clues to the jigsaw puzzle of our lives, and which we comprehend after many years have passed, that is, when the story is complete :)

The Signs

2007-11-23T12:47:00.001+05:30

“Flip a coin. The two sides of coin never lie. They show the truth. What is happening, or what will happen? They know it all.”—Higher Self

“Nah, I don’t want to build a castle of sand on a baseless idea.” – Lower Self

“Well, since you already know it’s a castle of sand you are going to create, why worry about the ground beneath it?” —Higher Self

“No, No. I mean how on earth a coin can know the future?” – Lower Self

“Coins are of any value only on earth. In the heaven neither you need coins, nor soothsayers.” – Higher Self

“Didn’t you know the coin flipping is based on the principle of synchronicity?” – Higher Self

“I do, I do! But synchronicities lie too. Don’t they?” – Lower Self

“Synchronicities don’t lie, the interpreters misread them.” – Higher Self

“You maybe right. Did I misread the tarot card last week…and yesterday?”—Lower Self

“Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t. Find out yourself. Hear the whisper of the universe. Read the omens.”—Higher Self

“You leave everything to me, don’t you? Why do I need you in the first place, I wonder.” – Lower Self
“Ask yourself.”—Higher Self

A Synchronicity about Synchronicity

2007-11-23T12:25:00.000+05:30

Last evening I was introspecting if I should change the title of my blog to replace the term sychronicity with a more generic word, which could better describe the visible transition in my blog content. It isn’t just about synchronicity anymore. I now post varied thoughts on my blog. These thoughts and emotions flow through short poetry, pseudohaikus etc.

Just when I had almost decided to change my blog title, I reached home and found Manoj’s courier carrying The Power of Coincidence he had sent a mail about on Nov 2nd. The book was just in time. I changed my mind about changing the blog title. The synchronicity continues….

The lost microcosm

2007-11-19T10:46:00.000+05:30

At the other end of the sky
A ruined star is dying
Little by little...
Still shimmers is its hope
To find its smashed body—
And reenact
The lost microcosm

From the closet that I opened intentionally

2007-11-18T12:19:00.000+05:30

--------------------------------------------------------
There lies the temple of love
Embraced in light
Beaming with wisdom
A state of ecstasy
In soul, mind, and body

-------------------------------------------------------

It’s a pyramid of your thought
As high as the sky
As low as the ground beneath your feet
You built it
You will demolish it

----------------------------------------------------
Freshness of timeless love
Is dancing like dew
caressing flowers at dawn
-- dead to the world

---------------------------------------------------

A streak of light
Shook the heavens above
Sparkled a heart beneath
Shaped a way within
Leading to that is eternal

From Anger to Love

2007-11-15T14:13:00.000+05:30

I call it matter; the stuff that the world is made of. I address the soul of the world as energy because it animates the matter. We use energy for different purposes, in different proportions, and in different ways. This is how we achieve incredible uniqueness in the world, be it nature, humans, or any species. No, I’m not trying to misapply Einstein’s E = MC2, and I’m not flaunting my zilch knowledge of Quantum Physics either. This matter/energy concept is my way of distinguishing a carcass from a living organism, and observing the exclusivity, contrasts, or synthesis of various human emotions. Goes without saying, it’s not original and I’ve borrowed it from unknown sources, and for my convenience I’ve sacrificed its authenticity without any guilt or fear.

I’m toying with the idea, rather reality of, applying freewill to manipulate the heat energy and to put it to positive uses. What is heat energy? For me, in the present context, it’s anger, that is, fire. Someone told me yesterday that anger/fire is an integral and indispensable part of life. How you use it decides whether it’s a boon or a curse. Such a simple thing, yet so meaningful!

A simply analogy is the diametrically opposite use of red chilly. You can use red chilly to create a delicious meal, or to hurt someone’s eyes. Whether to use adequate amount of red chilly to prepare a spicy meal, or to throw a heap in someone eyes can alter its purpose. Similar is the story of our subconscious patterns. If we are born with the pattern of misapplying the heat energy in challenging situations, then the first thing is to acknowledge that fact. Once we do this, we can train ourselves to use it effectively. Can we really use the heat energy effectively, obviously we can. We can reuse the heat energy to deal with the challenges of life, or to work for a cause that a coward would fear to think of. Like they say, a terrorist is someone’s patriot.

What I’m trying to do right now is very simple but relatively meaningless for some people, and therefore useless. It’s constructive only for those who can pick up the gauntlet of steering their freewill to drive out of their minds the subconscious behaviors (negative) that they are born with. It’s useful for those who want to create a new emulsion from this heat energy to repaint the mansion of their souls

...and for those who wish to transform the heat energy into the love energy.

It’s working for me; and therefore it should work for everyone, as we all are one!

Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you. - Richard Bach

Time-space Synchronicity

2007-11-10T12:02:00.001+05:30

Recently I watched three films which one way or the other portray our need and struggle to change the physical events that either happened in the past, or will take place in the future.

Premonition is about a psychic woman’s struggle to comprehend whether some mishaps already happened, or she just saw them clairvoyantly. I’m not sure if I interpreted the film in the way that the scriptwriter expected his audience to…or maybe he wanted to keep it open-ended. To me, the film indicated that we can’t change physical events, that is, in our desperation and efforts to alter them we actually cause them to happen.

My understanding maybe influenced from a short story from the Hindu mythology. The story goes something like this:

Once the demigod Indra goes to Brahma and pleads for the immortality of the pigeon to which Indra was greatly attached. Brahma, the creator, tells Indra, “I’m the creator, not the preserver; therefore, you should appeal Vishnu, the preserver, to bestow immortality to your pigeon.”

Indra goes to Vishnu and appeals for immortality of his pigeon. Vishnu explains Indra that death is the domain of Shiva, and Indra must pray to Shiva to set Indra’s pigeon free from death.

Indra convinces both Brahma and Vishnu to accompany him to Shiva’s place and beseech him to grant immortality to his pigeon. The trio visits Shiva and tells him about the matter. When Shiva hears their plea about the pigeon, he says, “I’m the destroyer of the world and the worldly. That said, even I can’t change what I’ve already decided to destroy. In your desperation to save the pigeon, you have actually caused his death. When the pigeon was born, it was already decided that the pigeon will die the moment when three of you will knock my door for his longevity.”

Other two movies, The Lake House and Déjà vu, show the triumph of love in bridging the gap between past and future, and changing the events that happened in the past.

Coming Back to You by Macy Gray expresses beautifully what I’ve been dying to express since ages:

Ive been here before.
I'll be back for more.
Maybe this time I can stay
forever more,
forever more.
Wonder what the future brings.
Fortune tellers and time machines.
I predict what they'll predict for me:
that I keep coming back to you,(coming back to you),
I keep (coming back to you),I keep (coming back to you),
hey, I'm (coming back to you).
One day they'll get it right.
I will live and I will die.
A million times, as long as you are mine,
I keep coming back to you,(coming back to you),
I keep (coming back to you),
I keep (coming back to you),
I keep (coming back to you).
Go back and go ahead,
over again I'll meet you, baby.
[Coming Back To You lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]
Tomorrow, yesterday's impossible to leave you, baby.
Any way and ev'ry day,I'll take you baby.
They call it deja vu, but I'm, I'm just in love with you.
(They call it deja vu, but I'm, I'm just in love with you.)
(They call it deja vu, but I'm, I'm just in love with you.)
(I'm just in love with you.)(Forever more.)
(I'm just in love with you.)Keep coming back to you.
(Been here before.)Coming back to you.(Back for more.)
Coming back to you.(Maybe this time I can stay.)
Coming back to you.(Coming back to you, coming back to you.)
(Coming back to you.)Over and over again.
been here before.
I'll be back for more.
Maybe this time I can stay.

Haiku

2007-11-09T13:16:00.001+05:30

A streak of light
Sparkles the searching eyes
Smoothens a smile

The Star

2007-11-05T20:55:00.000+05:30

Once there was a strange little child. Her name was Sophie, but she would call herself Hearty because that helped her realize her dormant strength to deal with the misery she was born to live through.

Her misery lied in the stars. She was in love with a star she never saw. But every time she saw a twinkling star, she took fancy to it. And she fell so much for it that she couldn’t handle her emotions. Her madness for twinkling stars never let her rest--she would fly, tumble, bang her head, and what not. But the worse thing she always did was to let her thoughts out to the world in open. Every time she divulged her secret love for a twinkling star, the twinkling star would shoot and fall on earth somewhere. This jinxed synchronicity continued for many years—even when she was old enough to handle her madness for the stars.

She could never relate to those who thought stars were meant only for the sky. Her madness knew no boundaries and it kept growing with her. Every time she fell in love with a twinkling star--taking it for the one she had been looking for all her life, she went crazy and told the world about it. Like her habit, the history too continued to repeat. Then one day, she met a sage; a wise man. He asked her why she couldn’t keep her own secrets, more so when divulging them brought only misfortune to her. What Hearty said to the wise men changed him forever, “The sky has trillions stars, if we were to bind them in numbers. Even if I lose one each day, the sky will have enough to keep me going… My misery may continue forever, which would only mean that there are more stars to let it continue, and there is hope in my heart to never stop at all.”

Weekend Synchronicities

2007-11-04T22:47:00.000+05:30

I’m still wondering why did the film, The Lake House come to me? Why did my colleague choose to recommend and give only this film? Did his subconscious guide him?

Somewhat similar to the story line of this film is the story of my life. I seem to have born either ahead of my soulmate or he is ahead of me—in some other dimension. That’s why I keep saying “one day he will fall from the stars.”

Who knows, like Alex and Kate, we too shall meet (forever) in the year 2008. Maybe we’ll meet once before this year ends…

Sounds maudlin? No, it’s not. Just watch this space!

***

There was another synchronicity on Friday. Manoj, a friend in B’lore who is not smitten by synchronicity like I’m, wrote to me asking for my postal address because he wanted to send me The Power of Coincidence, the book I had thought of ordering along with Sychronicity, but had decided against it. I now know the reason why.

***
I read the signs in the sky
that clouds leave as trail
Or airliners paint
I interpret the shapes—
Those characters of
An unknown script
They all have some message
From angelic realms
Meaningless to this world

Unfurling...

2007-11-01T22:05:00.000+05:30

A drop on the lotus petal
an ocean in the heart of earth
one a microcosm, another the universe

***

A sign caressed my soul in the autumn
When the foliage twirled
Spring is on the threshold—
It whispered

2007-10-26T11:17:00.001+05:30

I slept well last night after 4-5 days of enjoyable discomfort. You experience this discomfort when you are charged up with high energy, and therefore, you don't feel tired despite physical exertion.

It was Sharad Poornima; the divine night when Radha Krishna revealed the supreme Bliss of maharas to uncountable Gopis in Vrindaban about 5,000 years ago. It is the full moon night, which falls in October. After our dinner, Anshu told me that on Sharad Poornima the moon is positioned in such a way that it appears to be placed in the centre of the circular vent of the Banke Bihari temple in Vrindavan. From the circular vent, the moonlight falls on the face of Krishna’s idol and the idol’s dark face and bright eyes look enigmatic. I visualized it in my mind’s eye last night, and found myself in the temple as a spectator. I saw Krishna materializing from its idol and dancing on the chessboard-like floor of the temple, moonlight filtering through the vent as the spot light to focus on his onstage performance.

Picture from the Time of India
The full moon is seen over St Ignatius Church in Mumbai on Thursday. The moon, which is 3.85 lakh km from earth, came closer to our planet on Thursday (3.7 lakh km) after 18.5 years. This year, the lunar proximity coincided with the full moon. The moon loomed larger and brighter than usual.

I drove myself crazy in last couple of weeks. There was no reason to do so, though. I was going through the anxiety and sinking feeling that possesses me when my subconscious senses an unpleasant change. The worst part is, my mind and heart cannot fathom what that change is, but they do sense one. My conscious mind keeps attributing that difficult experience to a thought that I weave around a person, or departure of a special one from my life, or that I might have to go through an unpleasant experience. Last year, around the same time I experienced similar anxiety; however, with real high magnitude. It killed me everyday; every minute—perhaps every second those 2 months, and then there was a miracle...

The anxiety is off to some unknown dimension of my subconscious, and now I can breath and think normally until it conquers me again. My anxiety dissolved in the bright light of Sharad Poornima’s moon. Thank you, Krishna!

Words

2007-10-17T13:45:00.001+05:30

Words come like the rain after windstorm;
washing away the dust of thoughts;
pacifying the heart in rage.

Life goes on...

2007-10-12T09:46:00.001+05:30

I was beyond it, I thought—
So I returned
It won’t matter now as once it did—
I took the plunge

A fool’s paradise I created
Traversing its secret doors
I crossed the hell’s threshold—
Blindfolding my senses

What have I done to deserve this, I mourned
An echo, I heard; a piercing sound

Listen carefully
my mind preached
Ask yourself
the echo screeched
You thought it was divine—
Love that you bear
If it is so, why fear

Don’t let it dissipate
Let it grow
I sensed some warmth
In echo’s tone

One day it will be so
The echo persisted
Bear the pain
It insisted
It’s love in disguise
Do you not know
Iron is beaten
Before it turns into gold

Love

2007-10-02T20:49:00.000+05:30

When you are in love, or at least you think you are, be ready to look into your real self and acknowledge your emotions that want a higher return from this energy investment you make in somebody else. This love—as we know of it—is a better name for selfishness, jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity. Don’t ever be ashamed about these lower level emotions, but don’t be proud of them either. Just observe yourself and these embellishments, and hope that one day you would not need them. And this will happen when you love unconditionally.

Your name is a bead
To start and end
The incantation
Of love

Lava Synchronicity

2007-09-27T11:25:00.000+05:30

As part of my daily ritual, I pinged Sandy to share a haiku:

Eruption of thoughts
Into poetical lava—
Mind’s splendor

Sandy: wow
i was thinking about lava just now
believe me!

Me: in which context

Sandy: i was trying to rephrase a line
this one
The heated Heart boils with the weight ofLiquid Lava Buried in Earth's depths

didn't like it so had deleted it

and u pinged with ur three liner!

Breath of Universe

2007-09-20T16:51:00.000+05:30

Trespasses no forbidden boundary
Traverses deepest seas
To touch those hearts
In fondness that breathe

Slays the enemy
No body is slain
Defaces egotism
The pride remains

Creates a safe sanctuary
No one competes
For a tender soul
Sans lust and greed

Sets the soul free
The bonds remain
No war is waged
Nothing is lost or gained

Converts paupers into givers
Without robbing the riches
Warmth multiplies
Insecurities are defeated

Bow their heads
Who bend no more
So mighty is
The love lore

A Past Life

2007-09-18T12:11:00.000+05:30

Tales of symbolic words
Storytellers weave
Oblivious to possibilities
Of reviving memories—
Past beyond yesterday
That you can’t see
Lives behind magical doors
Of eternity

In subliminal realms
Where the “dead” live
Experienced, infinitely
I live as nobody

From the past of my “dead”
A life unearths uncut
When the words are familiar
And pictures are not unseen
In the picturesque stories
That I too have painted
Where I have also been

Knowledgably Ignorant

2007-09-17T14:30:00.001+05:30

Die a sweet death
Of ignorance—each moment
Let not the snake of knowledge
Bite you till eternity

***

Bronzed with conditioning
Darkened with Beliefs
Peel off this covering

Bare the tissues
Under a new Sun
Initiate again
The journey to the labyrinth
Sans a roadmap

Action and Renunciation

2007-09-07T16:51:00.000+05:30

Action and Renunciation, Verse 1

O Krsna, asks Arjuna,
Renunciation or action--
Which path must I tread?
Show me a single way
To merge my consciousness
With yours—
I’m mystified.

The world is a labyrinth
A place for spiritual stints
Before I tread a path
Another lures my being
Must I walk the rope?
Or saunter through the water
Enlighten my dark consciousness
Come show me the way
O Krsna

Action and Renunciation, Verse 2

Krsna guides Arjuna--
Renunciation or action
Both are the science of oneness
Both lead to liberation
Beyond labyrinth of my creation

I’ll neither hold your hand
Nor I’ll leave you perplexed
Take the first step in faith
As I’ll be with you
Don’t hesitate

I’m the blood you’ll shed
I’m the tear you’ll drop
I’m the pain you feel
I’m joy in your heart
You can’t harm me
I’m the preserver
So act!
The path will unfold
As I’m the path!

Prashna Synchronicity

2007-09-05T13:47:00.000+05:30

I like synchronicities where Krishna shows clear signs. These signs help me keep my faith in Him and the fact that He is always around!

Last Friday a heated discussion was pestering me and I slept with a question in my mind. However, I didn't think the thought as a clear question. When I woke up next morning, the mind read out the question clearly, and I asked Krishna to give me "clear signals" soon. After eating breakfast, I launched my computer to check mails, and there was the sign!

I had asked a somewhat similar question to a Prashna astrologer a couple of weeks ago. His site clearly mentions that it would be a while before the answers are sent to the querents, as it's a free service, so his mailbox is always full with such queries. If somebody is looking for a quick answer, then they should consult a professional astrologer.
This astrologer had replied to my query only seven hours before I checked the mail, that is after I went to bed (with the thought/question on mind). So Krishna showed signs within a few hours!

Srimad Bhagwat Geeta Synchronicity

2007-09-05T13:45:00.000+05:30

March this year a spiritual astrologer told me while analyzing my Navamsa chart that I should be studying The Geeta seriously, if the Navamsa ascendant is correct. I confided that I intend to do so sometime in future.

Day before I got some books from ISKON as a gift. The bundle also contains a copy of The Geeta As It Is. It’s no synchronicity, because this is what you can expect from ISKON; they won’t gift Calvin and Hobbes.

In the Sohamsa discussion group, a discussion is on to understand whether the soul’s desire should be seen from 7th from the sun in a chart, or 7th from the Atmakarka. Some learned people are trying to get the interpretation right using some references from the Geeta. Somebody also sent a link to Sriyukeshvargita, which I just downloaded, and then I got this mass mail from a friend:

Why do we read holy books?

An old Farmer lived on a farm in the mountains with his young grandson. Each morning Grandpa was up early sitting at the kitchen table reading his Bhagavad Gita. His grandson wanted to be just like him and tried to imitate him in every way he could.

One day the grandson asked, "Grandpa! I try to read the Bhagavad Gita just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understand I forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Bhagavad Gita do?"

The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove and replied, "Take this coal basket down to the river and bring me back a basket of water."

The boy did as he was told, but all the water leaked out before he got back to the house. The grandfather laughed and said, "You'll have to move a little faster next time," and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again.

This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home.

Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was impossible to carry water in a basket, and he went to get a bucket instead. The old man said, "I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You're just not trying hard enough," and he went out the door to watch the boy try again.

At this point, the boy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather that even if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got back to the house.

The boy again dipped the basket into river and ran hard, but when he reached his grandfather the basket was again empty. Out of breath, he said, "See Grandpa, it's useless!" > "So you think it is useless?"

The old man said, "Look at the basket."The boy looked at the basket and for the first time realized that the basket was different.

It had been transformed from a dirty old coal basket and was now clean, inside and out. "Son, that's what happens when you read the Bhagavad Gita.

You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, you will be changed, inside and out. That is the work of Krishna in our lives." "Celebrate Life. Care for others and share whatever you have with those less fortunate than you. Broaden your vision, for the whole world belongs to you."

While I started writing this post, my colleague’s phone rang and as soon as he received the call, he said to the person on the other side, “Geeta had asked me to come here.”

Lesson

2007-09-01T13:19:00.000+05:30

Harsh words, no matter how true
Are homicides with no mercy
Once threshold is traversed
They kill indiscriminately

Be the master of tongue
Slaves she has many
It’s sweet to everyone
When put to task rarely

Looking inwardly
Amidst crisis
Can heal the mind
Pregnant with anguish

Flashes of light are potent
To restore peace
Of the soul in ordeal

When love can’t be salvaged
To set a heart free
Purity of thoughts
Is a miraculous remedy

Haiku - Nirvana
Nirvana –
An illusion of
Escapist

(3-5-3 syllable haikus are accepted in English.)

The Moon and Psychosis

2007-08-30T14:10:00.000+05:30

The moon in my sky
Changes personas—
A new halo every night
Painted with unusual hues

Each night
The halo tells a new mystery—
Unvoiced and veiled

I talk to the moon in muted words
Divulge pent up emotions
Those events extricate
I spew at the luminary
Venom churned
Like a wild I fume
And annihilate

The luminary lurks behind
When I’m not gazing—
I fool it!
It shows signs
To my unsighted muse
It whispers yarns
Into my deaf conscious

I endeavor to coalesce the signs
Like a child connects the dots
To create a picture

I spin yarns unheard
Like a gossiper
Weaves truth in a rumor

I chance upon a truth on occasions
Like one unearths jewels
Digging sand dunes
In a loony night
Signs and whispers
Begin to talk
Or I embark on the infinite?
They dance naked—
My soul soaks the gist
In the rain
Like a peacock thrills

Amidst the murk and gray
The universe does smile
A kaleidoscope
A divine symmetry—
My existence, sometimes

To My Master

2007-08-27T12:27:00.001+05:30

I’ve weaved impossible worlds
Where Nature changes Its decree
It gives us wings to fly
With no corporeal body
I’ve colored rivers pink
The sky beneath our feet
In my world, none exists but you
You live in every being

O master—
I’ve painted you in lovely colors
And ripped the canvas
Ruins of my artwork
Lie all around
Like memories with hues

untitled thoughts

2007-08-13T13:53:00.000+05:30

Words can taint the marvel—
The Unusual bond
A feeling that keeps me in awe
A sensation
Of which I've heard from you so many times

I dare ask—
Can we strip off the transparent masks
The caginess that refrain us
From being what we could be
With each other—
Passionately unraveling the mystery
Around us when we are together

Many times we felt the craving
Faces were different
And so were hearts and souls
Each time, though, we wore a new skin
While desperately shedding the old

Some talks left us spellbound
And we read between the lines
We created a magic
Around those words
Sometime yours and mine

Some words went deeper
And so did touches from the past
Supernatural shades in them
As we found
Have left us—forever—aghast

Our words must be out
Before we recover our sanity
Or we may nip them in the bud
To save us from a sin
That grows each time we meet
And dwindles as we part

B'day Synchronicity

2007-08-10T14:59:00.000+05:30

I got a synchronous reply to my last post, in my mailbox yesterday. This is from DailyOM.com.

August 9, 2007
Begetting Change
Same Choices, Same Results
Repeated bouts of adversity are an unavoidable aspect of human existence. We battle against our inner struggles or outer world forces, and in many cases, we emerge on the opposite side of struggle stronger and better equipped to cope with the challenges yet to come. However, we can occasionally encounter trials that seem utterly hopeless. We strike at them with all of our creativity and perseverance, hoping desperately to bring about change, only to meet with the same results as always. Our first instinct in such situations is often to push harder against the seemingly immovable obstruction before us, assuming that this time we will be met with a different outcome. But staying power and stamina net us little when the same choices consistently garner the same results. A change in perspective, behavior, or response can do so much more to help us move past points where no amount of effort seems sufficient to overcome the difficulties before us. Whether our intention is to change ourselves or some element of the world around us, we cannot simply wish for transformation or hope that our lives will be altered through circumstance. If our patterns of thought and behavior remain unchanged, our lives will continue to unfold much as they have previously. Patterns in which fruitless efforts prevail can be overcome with self examination and courage. It is our bravery that allows us to question the choices we have made thus far and to channel our effort into innovation. Asking questions and making small adjustments to your thought processes and behaviors will help you discover what works, so you can leave that which does not work behind you. To break free from those unconscious patterns that have long held sway over your actions and reactions, you will likely have to challenge your assumptions on a most basic level. You must accept once and for all that your beliefs with regard to cause and effect may no longer be in accordance with your needs.

Stagnation is often a sign that great changes are on the horizon. Courting the change you wish to see in yourself and in the world around you is a matter of acknowledging that only change begets change. The results you so ardently want to realize are well within the realm of Stagnation is often a sign that great changes are on the horizon. Courting the change you wish to see in yourself and in the world around you is a matter of acknowledging that only change begets change. The results you so ardently want to realize are well within the realm of possibility, and you need only step away from the well-worn circular path to explore the untried paths that lie beyond it.

Set me free

2007-08-09T10:33:00.001+05:30

It’s been a long time I wrote full sentences on my blog. For about two months, I’ve been dashing familiar words to reflect hidden reactions. Many times I wonder if I’ll ever express myself freely. If words don’t restrict me, inhibitions come in my way…

The thought of going wrong in life has become a frequent and unwanted visitor. I fail to discern whether it’s an angelic message or a devil’s spear. Whatever it is, the permanent residue of this thought is guilt! This guilt has been generous though and hasn’t killed me; it’s gentle not to cause my spirit to sink. It’s a mild but ubiquitous guilt about turning the course of my life toward a road that leads to proverbial hell. I confront this guilt in the relationships that I’ve badly injured. This guilt reminds me each minute how I’ve damaged what I was supposed to resolve.

I’ve been arrogant with those who needed my warmth, humility more than on whom I’ve showered it. Many incidents shook me in the past; plenty made me aware of the need to grow, but I’m still the same person who now bears a constant feeling of guilt. Situations have bettered or worsen—whichever way I look at it—as I’m always aware of the intense longing to repeat what caused misery. Whether one buys it or not, it’s a difficult situation to be in: when you are hyperaware of your recurring mental patterns, and you are not doing anything about it!

Caged bird fluttering
Toying with its freewill to freedom
Inner voice muffled by inner noise
A maze--
What once was a kingdom

Consciousness

2007-08-08T14:05:00.000+05:30

Bouquet of green leaves
Wrapped in golden light
Shelters the natural beauty
The infinite blue sky

Emitting from the earphones
Proverbial cellophane of
Healing sounds
Splitting the sweet illusion
From gross reality
How potent is technology!

Inside the cab, I dawdle
Oblivious of daily noises
Music mutes
The morning traffic—
In fast motion

Mild musical doses
Recompose my thoughts
Giving birth to a fantasy
Amid dismays

To two V's

2007-08-06T11:07:00.000+05:30

"I won't keep clear of you,
as that would mean trading
a real dream with surreal reality.

To the immortal tinge of despair,
my music will lose the melody.
Ah, divinity-- so hard, so rare...
...those sunsets; the orange glare."

***
Innocence smiles
through the crystal eyes--
God lives in small beings

***

Smudged forms
Blurred colors
Eyes closed--
to reality

Neither this, nor that

2007-07-25T17:45:00.000+05:30

Neither atoms, nor quarks
Neither formless, nor shapeless
Neither light, nor darkness
Neither matter, nor energy
Neither truth, nor illusion
Nether real, nor surreal
Neither visible, nor invisible
Neither sound, nor silence
Neither experience, nor expression
Neither lives, nor dies
Neither “your soul”, nor “my soul”
Neither you, nor me
Neither bonding, nor separation
Neither body, nor mind
Neither fullness, nor nothingness—
Soul

***

Journeys to
Nameless universes
Mourns, laughs
Wears bodies; bares soul
Seduces, renunciates
And silently it enunciates
Its desire
To be the soul again

Untitled Conversation

2007-07-25T14:44:00.000+05:30

Addictive
Is our conversation –
Churning pretty words
Filtering reality

***
Who are you?
Who am I?
Born from matter
Animated with words
Attired with illusion

***
Strip off the mask--
A dark sketch of charcoal
Draw oceanic eyes
Permeate bottomless illusions—
of depth
Draw a mesmerizing smile—
Guileless
Sweep off the solitude
With strokes of joyful colors
Create an intriguing lie
Perjure yourself

In conversation

2007-07-25T09:48:00.001+05:30

The eyes of the matter,
can see only the visible.
Dress yourself with the masks--
illusion to the soul
identity for the mind

your naked heart
and your bare soul
are yet anonymous
Wrap them with a body—
Alike and unfamiliar

Monologue

2007-07-24T12:34:00.000+05:30

Hurt, half healed
Crawls on an aged experience
Awakens it from shallow sleep

* * *

It’s time for a verse—
Only words salve
The wounds
That words cause

* * *

Sing me the unheard songs—
I hear in my dreams
Paint the walls of infinity
With colors never seen
Traverse the road
With no ground
Beneath our feet

* * *

Only two things keep the world going:
The want of pure love
And the lack of it

Veiled Reality

2007-07-20T13:26:00.000+05:30

The door is ajar
To the secrets unveiled.

***

A way to the left
A way to the right
Darkness ahead
Who will traverse
the straight line?
…so far is the
Destination
So near

***

My universe collided
With another
Neither this remains
Nor that

Beyond mind...

2007-07-17T11:30:00.001+05:30

Countless stars
Untold universes
Overwhelming history
Big bang –
An illogical Reason
For the mystery

The Divine Connection

2007-07-16T20:48:00.000+05:30

Like twin photons
our souls advance
in different dimesions.
Change in one
is the transformation of other

Tea break poetry

2007-07-11T15:26:00.000+05:30

O Weatherly winds
You swing between the earth and the sky
Whose hopes will you sweep away to nowhere

Have mercy on the dreams
Let them season into hopes
for they age

Sweep away their fears
The dreamer fears your sweep of hope
Wipe it out
So you will be loved too
O Weatherly wind

***
Dews cruise to my eyelashes
Leave the lone leaf lonelier
My Bliss--
Leaf's ordeal

***

A ray of the sun--
A cupid’s arrow
Pierces the heart
of a little cloud.
Shatters
Its silver lining

***
Teardrops fall
Releasing unspoken
Words

***
The soul knows the mysteries of the mind
The ignorant mind craves to know the mysteries of the soul

***

Talking to myself and listening to you

2007-07-10T17:03:00.000+05:30

Metaphors
the birds of formless horizon
take a flight in my thoughts
leave a trail of boundary
bind me with the boundless

***

Rain washes soiled leaves
Bares the green in a dull day

Conversing in harmony

2007-07-10T09:20:00.000+05:30

SD:
Feather beings shine
Under the scorching sun, and
Heat turns them golden

SD:

Thinking and gazing
At the monitor
You spin yarns, alone

Sandy:

Wear the Yarns I've spun
Designed they were to
Keep you warm

Sandy:
Don't Impale me on
The Golden pole of Praise

SD:
Peel layer after layer
Find nothing but a blank universe

Sandy:
The Universe is as Blank
As the Emptiness in You

SD:

Fullness of the sky blue
Mesmerizes me, like you do

Sandy:
Ocean's unfathomable depths
Is the Sweet Mystery that is You

SD:
Mystery dies
When the ocean’s depth
Is fathomed

Let it remain
What it is not—
A mystery

SD:
Chimera is the word
For a life tangled
without threads

Sandy:
None has fathomed the Ocean's depth
Illusion is but another name
For a Mystery uncovered

koans

2007-07-05T09:34:00.000+05:30

What is it that enlightens you yet burdens you; shows you light but leaves you in maze?

What is it that you keep looking for--which lives in you--yet it is not there?

Koan

2007-07-01T21:45:00.000+05:30

Your delight is mine in secret.
Whose delight gleams in your eyes?

Clamor in the mind...

2007-07-01T21:38:00.000+05:30

A common conflicting state is when you want to say many things but you don’t know what these are. Sometimes when you know these thoughts, your imprecision cripples you, and you can't vent out. This is a state when thoughts clamor in your mind so much that you can’t ignore them. They are like badly composed music that lacks harmony and meaning, and it’s noisy to your mind as much it’s to your ears. And listening to such music can only annoy you!

Sometimes you know these thoughts; where they come from, and why they hammer your mind. Yet all you can do is observe them, and acknowledge the lack of flow, meaning and harmony that makes these thoughts annoying. When you are observing them, suddenly the realization, that you are not at peace with yourself and the world, takes place. This realization then changes your reality, and from a contented person you become a disgruntled human being in a matter of the moment. In such moments you can either confront the disharmony that you silently harbors mind, or ignore it completely, and start living again a life of ignorance.

Like all other days of my life, my mind, today, is brewing thorny thoughts. I know this feeling; it’s not new, but it’s fresh right now. While I’m charged up after a tiring week, many questions are trying to suck my fresh energy. These questions are the monstrous thoughts that I create everyday; each minute. I know for sure that the world around me and my conditioning planted these monstrous seeds in my mind. I want to ignore these questions and live in the moment, as sometimes it’s necessary to command your mind to shut up! And sometimes it’s a good idea to ignore what the world would think or say. Actually speaking, it’s always a good thing to ignore the world, and say, “Go to hell; I care a fig about you.”

2007-06-20T10:17:00.000+05:30

Dear God,

I invite you to transmute all my anger into love. Please come right away.

In anticipation...

Yours,

Me

From Light to darkness, and from darkness to Light...

2007-06-07T10:18:00.000+05:30

For a month I was possessed by fear of unknown, and there was no other emotion. I wanted to return home--wanted a smooth transition. Everything happened the way I wanted! This is all God’s grace…

Yesterday, after a long time, I experienced a fatal emotion: possessiveness. I don’t want to believe that we die with emotions that we are born with. If this is the case, then why come here? It’s strange that while we constantly destroy and rebuild ourselves, we still remain the same--old emotions don’t leave us despite so much rebuilding. They possess us like haunted spirits and take control of our consciousness at a time ripe for them but most inappropriate for us. Why inappropriate? Such a time throws a challenge and only meeting that challenge with self-observation can help us heal and transform the wounded side. It looks like a long road to me; road frequently traveled and yet never arrived.

The 444 Synchronicity continues...

2007-06-07T10:15:00.000+05:30

Looks like I’m yet to decipher the message that 444 has been trying to give. On last Sunday, I bumped into an old friend and asked for his number, to my amusement his number ended with 444. On Monday, I searched for an old friend’s brother (he is our IT consultant for the Noida office) name in Oracle’s HR database and found that his extension has 444.

Happy Return

2007-06-03T20:34:00.000+05:30

The soul has returned
To its source
It’s time for a new beginning

This may be an initiation
into the old –
That had faded with the winds of time

Or it’s a new start of
The timeless purpose of life

Don't dare ignore a synchronicity

2007-05-09T12:14:00.000+05:30

Whether I blog or not, universe’s messages keep sprouting as synchronicities, and those synchronicities continue to brew up as events. A synchronicity happened on April 17, which I dismissed despite universe’s momentary whisper to warn me that it was a message to be taken seriously.

V showed my picture to a psychic on 17 April, who--among many other things--said that my father had a heart problem and that I should take care of him. I dismissed it as an incorrect reading. While I was telling V that it was completely wrong, something in me said that maybe it’s a forewarning, but I still ignored it.

On April 22, while I was shopping with P, I got a call from sister who told that father was hospitalized and he had developed a “minor” coronary disease. She asked me for a friend’s number whose mother had a similar problem and had got her angioplasty done in Escorts hospital. I understood that the problem was not “minor”. Sometime later I called my friend to check if my sister had called her and she told me that my father’s right coronary artery was 90% blocked and LAD was 60% block, and he had a major heart attack on April 20. He was to go through By-Pass surgery soon, although later a doctor recommended stenting/angioplasty.

My father is improving and I’m sure two months later he will be healthier than ever.

But how could I ignore such a serious warning?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I’ve been considering going back to Faridabad for good, for a month now. I’ve been telling others and myself that I want to go back for a “good reason” and not due to my mother’s health or some other issue at home. I know now that my subsconsicous was preparing me in advance for something inevitable. (I should be home in the first week of June 2007.)

As in one atom, so in all…

2007-04-12T14:39:00.000+05:30

What is it that bothered me when it lived, and now that it seems to have dissolved, it still pricks my soul? I still feel its presence around me. It’s in the smell that emits from my surroundings. It’s alive in the air and in the scorching sun. It seems to have made a home in the coconut trees that peep in through my room’s window. It’s omnipresent on the roads that I traverse every day. It’s accentuated in about everything! I have beseeched the lord to set me free of it, and the more I try, more it seems to enamor me. I’ve struggled to ransack the infinite room that my mind is--from one corner to another--but the realization that I’ve touched only chimerical walls conjures me to appreciate the immortality that lurks from behind the matter that earthy beings and inanimate are made of.

Wise men say we don’t die, we only transform into something unique that never existed before and yet it was always a part of this eternal universe. They say this for inanimate also—that inanimate does not parish, and that it transmutes into a new thing which is akin to something else but still unique. Like a rose is akin to another rose, but it’s not the rose we compared it to.

For the reason that it’s immortal, I shouldn’t try to rid myself of it or be edgy by its existence. The only way out is to accept that it’s in me and I’m what it is made of, therefore, realize that I can only love and approve of myself…It’s not late yet to welcome it with open arms, because this is what I’m made of…

A poem and its haiku

2007-04-09T11:46:00.000+05:30

In this blue
that I call life;
billows of tough times
feel at home;
and never walk off.
Luster is a visitor
since eternity--
always ill at ease.
The moon wanes
every fullmoon
in this eternal darkness.
Tell me O being
are you the sun
of this awful sky?

***

Give a new poem
Strike a conversation
Make it a sonnet

The Moon and the aliens?

2007-04-06T14:08:00.000+05:30

Sometime during last week, while I was gadding about outside my PG, I noticed an arch around the moon. The arch was not close to the moon, though. It appeared to be 20-30 ft. away (I’m measuring the distance as I would on the earth plane.). The arch was neither a cloud nor a haze, but a grey thick arch made up of some stuff unknown to me. The arch was visible for as long as two hours, maybe it was there for more than two hours, and it’s just that I didn’t notice it earlier. I called Dr. A to describe the arch, to which she said I should go “up”to the arch and receive the message that the beings or energies wanted to give us. While Dr. A said all this, the arch started dissolving, and by the time we completed our conversation only 25% of the arch remained in the sky. Maybe while we discussed that my subconscious received the message from the energies, so the most part of the arch dissolved.

A day after this incident, I received a call from Dr. A and she shared with me Anjana's and her own experience. They too saw something like an arch around the moon, however the arch completed into a circle later. The arch/circle that they saw was a bit different from what I experienced, but there is something unique to their experience. To know what that is, see below the pictures of the moon that Vinod clicked. The circle around the moon has a green vortex of energy. It looks as if it's orbiting around the moon. There are more pictures and in every picture the energy vortex is at a different position, which confirms that it was orbiting around the moon. If you are keen to see all the pictures, please write to Vinod at mailto:vinodkumarifs@gmail.comWe are not astronomers or physicists, therefore, we can't explain this phenomenon in scientific terms, but we do think it has to do with the aliens/UFOs. If anyone out there has an explanation for it, please leave your comment on this post and/or send an e-mail to Vinod at mailto:vinodkumarifs@gmail.com.

Waiting Lounge

2007-03-28T19:52:00.000+05:30

a new beginning
awaits a new arrival
right now a dream

Destiny, Freewill, and Synchronicity

2007-03-20T14:08:00.000+05:30

Many books have been written on destiny and freewill. Numerous discourses have happened on this subject. As a matter of fact, books and discourses will continue like the unending cycle of life and death.

Most of the times I feel that even the freewill is part of your destiny. It’s not separate from the “destiny” at all. If you think you have achieved what you wanted to because of your freewill, then think again and know that this freewill is also part of your destiny in this incarnation, or let’s say the success in whatever you do is also part of your destiny. I would advice you to show your horoscope to a good astrologer to know more about this, or learn astrogy yourself.

Yesterday, I got a call from an ex-colleague, who is known for his eccentricities. He is a genius in his own rights and is always determined to achieve what he wants to. On and off he discusses his astrological questions with me and taxes my brains if I don’t answer his questions to satisfaction. Yesterday he called after months to discuss (what and why) with me the best possible time for his wife to deliever their second kid--the doctor had given them two dates to choose from (time being completely flexible). I explained to him “logically” for almost half an hour that he couldn’t control the destiny, character, and the personality of his child…No matter how flexible it seems the fact is it is NOT. I asked why didn’t he consult an astrologer to advise him on most suitable time for his wife to conceive. He laughed. Despite the points I made, to which he seemed to have agreed, he persistenly asked me to tell him which horoscope was better out of two probable horoscopes. I had no option but to do this for him. However, just a few mintues ago I received his call again and he told me that he could appreciate better today the points we discussed yesterday, as his wife has suddenly developed some condition due to which the delievery date will change. Isn’t it synchronicity?

Looking for a title

2007-03-14T10:11:00.000+05:30

It’s time for a rhyme --
to hold in our hearts
the bliss of our transient union;
a painted world that may fade as the days pass

It’s time for a poem–
to enliven the twinkling stars
that mesmerized us in our shared fantasy;
and to let the silver river, as we imagined, flow forever;
and it’s time for you to sing to me with the sounds of water
“change the world”
like an everlasting symphony
Let’s sit forever,
by the side of our river
as it flows for us passionately….

Its’ time for an epic --
to keep alive the love that
unearths rarely, but ardently
Come let’s weave a world
that never was
that never will be
and yet it’s larger than life...

From the stars...

2007-03-12T16:19:00.000+05:30

Eons ago people used to talk to stars. I think some of them still do. I talked to an unknown star yesterday when I was in a pub called Hint, which is on the fifth floor of the Bangalore Central mall. I was gazing at stars while others were on the dance floor and then I had a sudden urge to talk to a star on the right side of a tall building. It was an interesting exchange--exchange of energies and a few words too. I asked the star after a exchanging some blue light if it too thought like me that someone would fall from the stars (for me)... The star started twinkling and I received a call from a soulmate who was somewhat seperated and yet connected. It was indeed a synchronicity. Only two days ago I had thought of talking to him, but his phone turned out to be disconnected. I had an idea that he might not be in India…When I asked him how did he call me suddenly; he smiled over phone and said synchronicity (telepathy). The long conversation washed away many dark spots…and I got the message from the universe that I need to learn to live in the present—without looking at what will happen tomorrow…a few relationships are meant to be unconditional…

Pondering over the quake synchronicity…

2007-03-08T13:32:00.000+05:30

I’m trying to connect the miniscule dots that my senses had missed completely on Feb 27th and March 6th (Read Omen and Quake Synchronicity). On the evening of 27th Feb when Sonia, a friend, told me the bill amount (Rs. 666/-), the only world that had popped up in our minds was “evil”. I missed out a point completely even while I got a clear message in my astral body and through the book. And that point is about the date and the magnitude of the quake. My analysis or decoding whatever I call it sounds completely illogical and it IS illogical, in fact. Here it goes: Rs. 666/- meant 6th March—number 6 for the date and three occurrences of 6 indicated third month of the year. Furthermore, the page number of the book was 177, that is 6 (1+7+7=15=6). The magnitude of the quake was 6.3, which can be explained like this: 6x3 = 18 and 6+6+6=18 or 3 occurrences of 6.

PS: D just pointed out number 9 here, which is the number of rebirth, rejuvenation. It is true that earthquakes are essential for mother earth's good health. In fact, this is why California is so green and beautiful. I remember reading somewhere that after the quake on 8th October, 2005, a river was unearthed somewhere in Kashmir/Srinagar (I don't clearly remember the place though)

Excerpts from my chat with D:

6.3 adds up to 9
6-03- 2007 also adds up to 18 = 9
leave the year out and it still adds up to 9
177 adds to 6
the number of love
forewarning is only given to people who are loved or are deserving of it
you got it on 177
which means some form of universal love directed you toward it

without 666 there is no 9
and 666 IS 9

the 666 alerted you
you caught the message

u further found the message on 6
and the result was a form of 9
wat it seems like is a 9 alerted you, 6 told you, 9 executed, and 9 is what remains

Hey D, thanks a lot for sharing your perspective. It, indeed, is very interesting and makes complete sense

Quake synchronicity

2007-03-07T11:38:00.000+05:30

Yesterday, an earthquake of 6.3 magnitude rocked Sumatra Island. Hundreds of buildings were collapsed and 82 people died. I’m connecting this calamity with the experience that I had last week. I think it’s a terrible synchronicity. But who am I to decide whether it’s dreadful or good? I remember what Anshu had said last week during the exercise that she made me do, “Quakes are mother earth’s labor pains, so we must not try to interfere with the beauty that she wants to give birth to through them.” If this is true, then the point of mitigating the affects does not arise at all… That said, it’s easier said than done.

"It is bondage when the mind desires or grieves at anything, rejects or accepts anything, feels happy or angry at anything." - Ashtavakra Samhita

Omen

2007-03-01T13:42:00.000+05:30

Sometimes universe’s messages are encrypted in a way that they appear direct to us when they are only symbolic. Those messages don’t mean what we think they mean. Taking them literally leads to confusion and disbelief. Furthermore, these simple-looking verifiable messages can’t be validated, as they bring transformation and changes at a different level—other dimensions.

I got one such message on 27th Feb. I was depressed throughout the day…unable to find the root cause behind my depression and irritability; I attributed it to my nature. Toward the evening I started feeling even worse and a strong thought that something is going to happen popped in my mind. I wanted to cry but I couldn’t. To feel better, I decided to meditate. As I sat in meditation, I felt a strong desire to pull “Cracking the Intuition Code” by Gail Ferguson from the bookrack in my room and opened a page with my eyes closed. But when I opened my eyes to read some text, the first sentence I noticed on page 177 was “Earthquake today”. In this page, the author describes a technique called Teleos. She states her own example how she gets messages from the universe. When she got this message there was actually an earthquake in the area where she lived in California. As I read this, tension in my mind increased and I eventually talked to Dr. Anshu about it. She made me do a quick creative exercise over phone. As part of that process (Theta healing, I think), she guided me to change the perceived future in my mind to whatever I wanted. I visualized the earthquake and heaviness in my heart to take the form of rains. Although, I visualized rains in a different geographical location, that night it started raining heavily around 3 am. Yesterday, I came to know that US and Indian markets crashed big time. Anyhow, I started feeling very good and light in my heart yesterday, but something tells me there is more to come…who knows that “more” will only be good. I can only wait and watch.
________________________________________________________________
PS: The same evening I met a friend in a restaurant and the bill amount came out to be Rs. 666/-. When my friend looked at the bill amount she called it an evil sign jokingly, and said the amount was 666 because I was around :). Ah, I'm as much associated with Darkness as I'm with Light.

My universe I'm what you're made of

2007-02-22T17:52:00.000+05:30

Who are you?
the persona with many layers.
Who are you to me?
O’ being analogous to the universe
without beginning and end.
You are here
yet you are everywhere
with all those who vie
for your energies

Once I made you a universe
of which I was an evocative part
I still am a part of you, O’ my universe
but only one of hundred layers

Your layers are many
and you take pride in the countless.
You peel off a layer
oblivion of its pain
that it feels to part from you.
You consider it dead
not knowing that
it’s inseparable part of you
if this layer is dead, you too won’t exist
and this layer is what you are made of.
And you still are its universe!

Trip to Vrindavan

2007-02-20T23:48:00.000+05:30

Before I left Banaglore, Krishna called me to Vrindavan to have a feast of joy with him. It was a non-ordinary invitation with no physical evidence. More than that, he had whispered in my ears an idea as to how to reach Vrindavan comfortably and enjoy our meeting. As Krishna advised, I asked Shallu, a 15-year old friend, to drive me to Vrindavan. Amazingly she was more than willing to take me there although she had been there only last week. It seems like Krishna’s play to me.

This morning Shallu came to pick me up at 7 and in my sheer joy I took out the Krishna gold pendant that my sis got for me. And to my surprise, Shallu too was wearing one—a bigger one. This was indeed very synchronous.

I feel so contended to meet Krishna during this trip. The visit to Vrindavan was one of my ways to thank him for all his love.

Oh yes, it's Valentine's day today...

2007-02-14T17:13:00.000+05:30

Solitary giggles
Glistening eyes
A mesmerized heart
A dancing soul
One’s own world
Weaved with dreams
Coated with joy
Filled with love
Emitting lovesome light
That’s all one needs in life…

A Separate Reality

2007-02-13T13:39:00.000+05:30

Picture this: You are a new ager who spends most of her/his time analyzing their thoughts, the purpose of life, and learning about the paranormal world. As a result of this paranormal lifestyle, you are prone to cracking omens/signs/symbols around you (it doesn’t really matter whether you label them as synchronicities or not). And one evening, when the sun has already set, you are gadding about in a short but airy passage, a kite or an owl comes flying from within a tree and takes a seat at the window hood a hundred yards away from you —this is one of those days when you are engrossed in a book like A Separate Reality by Carlos Castaneda. It’s one of those days when you are thinking if you too could “become” a bird and have a bird’s eye view on the world…

Tell me what will you do in such a situation:

-- You’ll ignore the bird as a regular thing
-- You’ll think that it’s an omen, and take a crack at it
-- The incident will cause goose bumps
-- The incident will scare you and you’ll go back to your room
-- Others? Please specify

I chose the second last option because I’m never comfortable in presence of beings with feathers. Maybe it's time to unearth the cause of why I feel sick at the sight of beings with feathers.

It's time to let go of remnants...

2007-02-09T12:39:00.000+05:30

The winds of the magnetic north
rub salt on my wounds;
slap my memory;
remind me of the chosen path--
adorned with velvety thorns--
among the flowers it traverses, and
its mystical fragrance is the lure.
“You have to tread this path, so hold your breath…”
The winds over yonder say,
“Sense no smell that transport you in the past.”
“See no flora that existed before.”
“Feel no thorns lest you should digress.”
“Just go on; move on!”

I say a little prayer...

2007-02-07T14:01:00.000+05:30

Lord!
Give me the strength to cut
with shears of realizations and love
the strings that held us together once,
as with those strings
I’ve tried to strangulate my soul.

Lord!
If slashing those strings
would mean running away
from that, which imbued in me
the light of love,
then give me the serenity
to accept that union
only in the realms of heaven,
or the ‘other dimension’
that we both have been waiting
to transcend.
Though, ‘unison’ is my sole purpose.

Dancing Within

2007-02-05T11:56:00.000+05:30

Mixed experiences of euphoria and worthlessness are a by-product of nonlinear spiritual journeys. Our inquisitiveness to unearth the mysteries of life initiates us on this path, which we think has remained uncharted before we plunged into it. Those who think many have explored this nonlinear path before their arrival want to experience the enigma themselves. Whether we agree or not, some experiences are “contagious” in nature, because we hear a lot about them from others and secretly wish to experience ourselves too. That said, those experiences happen only when we are ready for them. In other words, subconsciously we continue to prepare ourselves to experience those enigmatic realities until one day they do happen. Unless one is an expert in mind control, they can’t really tell when a certain experience would take place. Moreover, such experiences happen only at random to those who are relatively new in this realm.

After my last astral experience, which happened a few days ago, I had another experience yesterday. It was during my noon meditation at Matrix’s place. After 5/10 minutes into meditation-like state, I felt my charkas were spinning very fast. Not all of them though: only sacral, solar plexus, and heart. Maybe those were not the charkas but something else (temporary rise in kundalini)—I can’t say. But something was swirling within. It was fast initially and remained so for a minute. But when I observed it, the swirl became random and happened at a low speed. I had a similar experience in Feb 05 during my first past life regression session. The magnitude of that experience was very high compared to this one. It had scared me to the extent that I shouted and asked my therapist to call me out of that state…

***

On Saturday noon, while I was still evaluating the decision of going to Blossoms bookstore after Deepanjan’s play, a very usual thought occurred. The thought was: ‘when I will be looking at Carlos Castaneda’s books, someone else will come looking for the same author.’ I had pictured this in my mind too, but this was one of those intruding thoughts that bother us 60, 000 times in a day. However, in the evening, when I picked up three books of Carlos, a guy came asking the sales girl a particular title from Carlos Castaneda. But the book he asked for was not available.

A trip to the city of hope and dope

2007-02-02T15:37:00.000+05:30

Pushkar Fair, year 2001

After three days of uncertainty, Venu and Reema decided to begin their journey to Pushkar on different but consecutive days. To their own pleasure, Reema reached the mystery city on Saturday night, followed by Venu, who touched the threshold of Brahma's city (the creator of universe in Hindu mythology) on Sunday morning.

Reema took a deep breath when she saw Venu and her family coming towards their hotel room. Last 12-13 hours had given rise to weird and uncalled for ideas in her mind. She, as always, over analyzed the reason behind traveling separately to the same destination--using different transportation mode. She even felt insecure, which worried her to the extent of thinking that probably they would never meet in Pushkar. But the apprehension died its natural death at arrival of Venu.

Before they could plan their day in Pushkar, they decided to have leisurely breakfast, which began at 10.30 AM and ended at 12 noon. The rooftop of the mediocre hotel, where they had their breakfast, put everyone in a meditation-like state. They could see sand dunes, rocks, and 1000 temples from a single point. “I feel like treading fast towards spirituality, as I look around at the fusion of sand, rocks, and sky”- murmured Venu. “And the folk music too” Reema concluded. “It feels life has come to a halt at the right time. I enjoy this halt to the hilt and don’t mind if it stays a little longer than what we have planned.”

“Let’s kick start the day guys”, Reema said impatiently. She had always been like that-- restless, uneasy. Even in the times when life was not really bitchy. “Life is a bitch.” was her favorite phrase, which dwelt on her lips round the clock—even while she was asleep. “First thing first, we will go to the mela” Anurag seemed to be ready with the plan “and ride the wildest donkey there” Reema was a bit naughty this time. Finding that nobody enjoyed her prank she said to herself a donkey could not ride another donkey…well but a donkey could take another donkey for a ride…

The narrow roads were packed with foreigners with dubious eyes and eerie hairstyles. Every pair of eyes had a mysterious untold story-like reality, which if uncovered, would leave a horrifying impact on the tourists’ minds. The music shops played and sold all kinds of music, which fabricated an aura of artificial spirituality, masking deep down in its heart an evil ritual, which began with and ended at marijuana in the cramped and dingy streets of Pushkar. Jewelers, it appeared, sold artificial jewelry coated with gold and silver, at the cost of buyers’ fortune. The 1000 temples seemed to be offering all sorts of drugs in the platter, which, ideally, would be used for prasad. Everything, which was real and defiled in this small city, seemed to be camouflaged under a redolent and religious covering.

“Madam, you could keep your shoes here before you go to the sacred temple of Brahma”, the shopkeeper sounded like a professional helper. As the group headed towards the only temple of Brahma, the shopkeeper revealed his true color by forcing them to buy prasad. The agitated friends decided against leaving their shoes with him, and one of them decided not to go the temple, which was a commercialized worship place.

Every activity around was a clever example of adroit marketing skills. Local women offered to shot their pictures in return of a few bucks. Some begged for shampoo to wash their thick and rough hair. The sun was scorching and the heat was a bit too much to bear for long hours. All the pity incidents that were taking place one after one, were good reasons for avoiding the world famous Pushkar mela. It appeared as a stratagem to woo rich and curious foreigners.

The troop decided to search for hard-to-find dunes in Pushkar. Everyone knew that Jaisalmer is a place to see dunes—after Egypt maybe. But Reema had been yearning all these years to have a glimpse of a small dune, if not a bunch of them.

Friends decided to hire a jeep to ride in the direction of sand, which would look mysterious by the time they touched the sand beneath their feet. It was already 5 and they decided to have a cup of tea before they could begin the adventure. In past couple of days, the Pushkar tea had become a coveted drink for them. Masala tea as they had begun calling it, the tea fueled in them an inexplicable zeal, which sometimes made them think that Afeem must be its one of the ingredients.

It was already 5.35. The sun was setting gradually, painting everything in Pushkar golden. The hills that enveloped Pushkar seemed ethereal. The prominent temple on the hill seemed a place of worship for a few moments, as no one could feel the tricky business from such a distance, which used to take place in temples of Pushkar everday (like their other rituals).

Finally, they found it. A small dune located far in the middle of so-called desert. It was catchy and worth the feel. They decided to walk towards it to touch it, to lie down on it, and to meet eyes with big and crystal clear moon, which was on the verge of touching the rocky hill. Before they could start the journey, something weird happened. As they were moving towards the dune of their desire, a screeching sound pierced their ears from the south and got lost abruptly. Venu and Reema stopped and looked into the direction where the sound emitted from. There was nothing but silence, no human or animal could be seen in the south direction-- as if the life came to stand still. Nonetheless, they continued in the direction of the dune.

After moving a few steps ahead, Reema saw a mysterious tree with vast branches. It appeared like a dark, horrifying witch whose face was covered with knotted hair. Venu insisted on going near the tree and sitting at the plank, which was fixed there permanently, for a while. As they sat on the plank, they saw an eerie diagram (a square delineated with a piece of coal). They were quite sure that it was drawn with a piece of coal. Although it looked like a familiar game that children play in small cities of India, something about it was creepy. The diagram had four pebbles inside its boundaries. They appeared to be tools for some kind of black magic. Then, at a sudden, Reema felt the urge to move the pebbles out of the square. As soon as she moved the pebbles out of the square, Venu’s face turned red. It was not a good omen-- that was obvious now. They decided to move toward their destination—the dune. There were small snakes on the way to dune. The thorny path was hard to traverse. It was almost dark by then. The surroundings were gloomy so were the heart of both friends. They could not enjoy the dune for long as the thought of square was still bothering them.

Friends decided to leave for the hotel, as they had to pack their stuff and leave at mid night for Delhi. The trip was on the verge of a gloomy end. All of them decided to end it with a card game. Reema played well and won a few bucks to keep her content for a short while.

The morning dawned beautiful and shiny like a piece of gold. Venu and Reema went to the hotel rooftop to enjoy the golden hills and bid goodbye to the city of uncanny people and incidents. The thought of the diagram was fading gradually with the dawn. Everything seemed in place: the temples, the narrow streets, the morning, the hotel and the road, which they had traversed to reach the place they began from. Both looked at the far located desert as they were almost on the outskirts of Pushkar, and then smiled at each other, expressing the last ‘Pushkar’ thought: it was not as wicked as they had thought it to be.

In a quandary

2007-02-01T13:52:00.000+05:30

How do you draw a line between the real and the surreal? Have you ever noticed a line between the two? Is there a line between reality and that what is not real? What is line? What is reality? How do you define surreal? Can you prove the surreal? What does “prove” imply? What does “imply” mean? What does “mean” mean?

Reality is relative? Why is relative accepted as relative? What about the reality that we have objectified, for example, Jesus, Krishna…Who conceived “objectify”? Did Jesus really exist? Is Krishna real? Were they ever part of the physical reality? Well, is there a reality beyond this realm? Have you seen it? Have you been there? Really? You did? Wow! How do you know that your mind didn’t fabricate it? Ah, it did? Great! Why does fabricate mean what it means? Oh, your mind manifested the unknown dimensions for you…these dimensions are real for you. Why is manifestation called “manifestation”? How do you know those were really “other dimensions”? Did you read it in a book? Did a new age guru condition you about it? Ah you say--it can be proved mathematically. Ah, good. Who decided number 1 is really number 1 and not number 2? How did he know that number is really “number”? Why the hell this world accepted it?

How do you know Big Bang and much-speculated Big Crunch are not nonsense? What is nonsense? IS there a sense too? Who prefixed “non” before sense? Why did the world accept it? Why is acceptance accepted as “acceptance”?

I’m mad. What is mad? Who in the world conceived this word? What is “world”? What is “word”? Who is “me”? Who conceived it?

Agitation in the void

2007-01-31T14:54:00.000+05:30

In this perpetual trance,
my mind is agitated.
For the storm
of thoughts has cleared,
and the rare void
is an agreeable bother.

Another old one...

2007-01-23T11:05:00.000+05:30

Darkness encrusts the world
With its nucleus everywhere
Living deep down every atom
Yet unknown, unreachable

Microcosm of the universe
Is in danger
In the eternity of yin
Light might dim forever

An old one...

2007-01-23T10:56:00.000+05:30

Live
it's the reason
of life

Go
beyond meaning
for there is none

Think not
for it is
the obstruction
to the living
beyond death

Death
you endure
everyday
in the desire
to live

Days
go by
when you think
so you die

A flight to emerald mountains

2007-01-22T13:22:00.002+05:30

Yesterday morning, I flew over dark green mountains in a lucid dream. Basically, it was an astral travel. I had started this flight in a curiosity to see "the other side"... The place below me had only mountains and the sky above me was light blue. It looked like the mountains were adorned with square pieces of emerald. As I took the flight, my speed started increasing, but I can’t really quantify it (I wasn’t carrying the measuring apparatus in my dream, but it should be some supersonic stuff--it was more than that of a plane... I covered many hundred miles in a jiffy) I knew that I was dreaming, but the experience was thrilling! Although whatever we experience in our dreams appears “real” (physical), but this experience was very different... It was more real that of a non-lucid dream. I was scared of flying for a moment, so I closed my eyes. Nonetheless, I told myself that I should learn to enjoy this flight, as it was letting me see “the other side”. So, I opened my eyes to admire the green mountaintops, but then the speed reduced and I woke up. The experience was beyond words! Sigh, it lasted hardly for a minute.

My last astral travel was sometime in 2005—if my memory serves me right. It had happened around 1 or 2 am. During that travel, I had gone to a place that had a cloud-like surface. That’s all I could notice about that place. It did not look like the planet earth... I had returned to my bed after coming face-to-face with a man whose eyes were green.

Light and Love

2007-01-18T14:08:00.000+05:30

Crystallized emotions
twinkling through the eyes;
vibrating in the hearts;
stirring the souls;
igniting long-buried love
that never gave up.
In eternity this love grew,
waiting to be resurfaced
in an infinite lifetime.
Wearing new masks; fresh perfumes;
painted in new-fangled colors,
to shield the faces
That no one must see;
No one must know.
In eternity this love anticipates
Experiencing new arts,
learning new lessons;
In timelessness it lingers.
For the souls will be united
sometime beyond time--
in an unknown dimension,
where only Light and Love
will remain.

Hare Krishna

2007-01-16T11:31:00.000+05:30

As I religiously observe synchronicities, the universe keeps showering them on me so much so that now they have become an integral part of my life. I try to give synchronicities the honor they deserve and use them to my amelioration. It seems, the universe, too, in turn, values my efforts and acknowledges them by fulfilling my desires.

A couple of weeks ago I felt a strong urge to listen to hare Krishna/hare Rama mahamantra in Srila Prabupada’s (founder of ISKON) voice. I was missing the audiocassette I used to listen at home. Anyhow, I went to Landmark to check if I could find something there—if not in Srila’s voice, then maybe in a voice for which Hindi and Sanskrit are second languages (the mahamantra sounds very soothing in foreign voices). Maybe the desire was still in incubation, so I didn’t find anything. A few days later I literally frisked the landmark CD racks but only to find nothing. After that unsuccessful endeavor, I said in my mind that the universe or Krishna (actually both are the same), whosoever has time and inclination should find me the CD, and that I won’t make any efforts now.

On Saturday, while was strolling in Kormangla, I bumped into an ISKON guy who was trying to convince a couple to read Krishna Katha composed by ISKON. Here is what transpired between him and me:

Me: Excuse me; I see you are carrying ISKON CDs and books. Do you have a CD of Hare Krishna…mahamantra?
ISKON guy: Yes, here it is. (and then resumed the conversation with the couple that was totally disinterested.)

Me: But it’s the Bhagwat Geeta.

ISKON guy: It has the mantra, too (back to convincing the couple like a true huckster)

Me: Sure?

ISKON guy: yes, I am sure. (resumed the talk with couple)

Couple: We will go now; we don’t want to read anything at this point. Thanks!

Me: You were trying to sell the stuff to those who were not interested at all. I’m eager to buy some of it, but you were not attentive...

ISKON guy: That’s my job: educating those who are not really interested.

Why don’t you read Krishna Katha? The Beatles group (1970) had donated $19000 to get it published. And George Harrison read it too. See his statement in the book:

“All you need is love (Hare Bol)”

Me: Although I’ve a special connection with Krishna, I am not sure if I’ll enjoy this book.

ISKON guy: You will!

Me: OK. Give me the CD and the book.

When he left, I smiled and thanked Krishna for His love.:)

I opened the Krishna Katha later in the night and realized I had gotten this stuff on MakarSakranthi day (when the sun enters Capricorn)…

Question

2007-01-11T15:21:00.000+05:30

Smoke lurked behind the sun.
The light subdued
in the vapors.
Who won? Who lost?

Voyages Within

2007-01-07T16:36:00.000+05:30

Some voyages ought to be traversed alone--
Those narrow passages;
And those trails in painfully maintained gardens,
Where symmetrical trees, grass, and even foliage
Harbor the nuclei of pain that the nurserymen are impervious to.

These journeys without destinations ought to be brought to ends—alone
Listening to “Om Mane Padme Hum” and enjoying the illusion
That I belong to Tibet, the land of fullness and nothingness,
The land that I may not want to experience owing to my coldness toward cold

These trips, as short as specks in the air, ought to be loved alone,
Admiring the mauve flowers
Of which I know only color and shape,
And the contrast they bring against the sky and the surroundings.

The euphoria, which temporary ends of such journeys initiate,
Ought to be consummated alone--
Ecstasy that trickles down through me with every sip of coconut water,
Every weekend.

The butterfly and the polarity of life

2007-01-02T13:50:00.000+05:30

On the second last day of 2006, when I was walking in a park nearby, two questions nailed my mind: Can there be light without darkness? Why do we want to have only light? My head was pounding and I needed a Disperin. I tried to wash off these questions, as I had made them the cause of my distress. And then I saw a butterfly waiting feet ahead. It was a black butterfly with a white circle in the center of each wing.

It flew away the moment I went close to it, but I got my answer. The darkness exists so that we can focus on the circle of light!

The day

2006-12-28T17:36:00.000+05:30

I let you go
With my serenity
That still remains
Amidst of clamors
In the mind

I let you dissolve
It’s time for you
To become the past
Maybe it’s time for me, too…

Go now
The sun is ready to set
We’ll meet again
A new you
A new me